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Murphy's Law (1986)
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Movie Review by Jenny
September 21st, 2007
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Murphy's Law says "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong". This is actually a quote from the movie, too. Jack Murphy's response?
"The only law I know is Jack Murphy's Law. That's very simple. Don't f*ck with Jack Murphy. You remember that."
Unfortunately, that's one of the better lines from the movie.
Charles Bronson plays Jack Murphy, a recently separated, about to be divorced, alcoholic cop who just happens to have a murderous psychopath after him. He's a self loather, a character trait made obvious by his frequent trips to the strip club where his soon-to-be ex-wife works. He sulks in the corner, nursing his drink and looking disheveled. He stalks her and her new boyfriend, the owner of the strip club. He follows them home and watches them from his car. If he's trying to garner sympathy, it ain't working. He's just pathetic.
If he couldn't be any more down on his luck, now a psycho who he helped put behind bars has escaped and is killing everyone who played a part in her being locked up. This includes his ex-wife, his old partner, and maybe himself if he doesn't do something.
This plot sounds interesting enough, and would have probably made a damn fine movie. But they just had to introduce one more supporting character. I don't know, to give the movie edge perhaps?
In comes a hooligan teenage girl, Arabella McGee played by Kathleen Wilhoite. This is the most ridiculously written role I have ever seen, outside of Sci-Fi Originals and Skinemax perhaps. Arabella is a tough chick. She's got short hair, she wears a leather jacket, and she's got a mouth that begs to be washed out with soap. Only she rarely curses. This girl is the absolute worst name-caller I have ever heard. She calls everyone names, especially Jack Murphy, up to and including: "dog piss", "dog snot", "dildo nose", "sperm bank", "snot licking donkey fart" and "pubic hair". Then she also tells them to "kiss my squirrel" and "watch your a**hole, a**hole". Funny now, maybe. After an hour and a half, it gets real old. I mean REAL old. So old that Arabella alone ruined the movie for me.
Because of Arabella, I cannot recommend this movie. The rest of the movie is great! It's got action, it's got some crazy murders, it's got Charles Bronson for crying out loud. But it's also got that horribly written role of Arabella McGee. Maybe they should call it McGee's Law instead. Murphy is fine by me.
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