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7 reviews

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Movie Details

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Directed By
James Cameron

Written By:
James Cameron, Walter Hill

Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Paul Reiser, Jenette Goldstein, William Hope, Al Matthews, Mark Rolston, Ricco Ross, Carrie Henn, Colette Hiller

Buy on DVD
Aliens (1986)
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Movie Review by BillyBob
February 17th, 2008

The Happy Reunion

Favorite Movie Quote: "Get Away From Her, You B.I.T.C.H!!"

ONE. TWO. Cha-Cha-Cha......

Is anyone ready to Rock 'N' Roll?.......

Hey, Look! How cute! Ripley is showing the Queen of the Torpedo-Heads how to do the Monster Mash (to a machine-gun rhythm, no less) What a Blast! The Queen and her subjects are just ecstatic. They have never had so much fun before. You can bet there's gonna be a rip-roarin' time down at the old LV426 Disco tonight.

Yeah......But, seriously, folks......I'm sure we can all agree on this - When it comes to movie sequels (in the sci-fi/horror genre) ALIENS is ,without a doubt, a colossal success, both with the fans and the box-office, alike. Heck, I was pretty impressed myself, but....BUT!!....Yeah, I know, when it comes to a good, ol' BillyBob Review there's always gonna be a 'but', or 2. Well, I can't help it. I can't!

I hope I haven't scared anyone off by only giving ALIENS a measly 3 star rating. It's 'cause I found some pretty annoying bits in the story and this prevented me from honoring ALIENS with a much higher ranking. All the annoying bits are, of course, forgivable, but, still, I'm itching to point them out, like you wouldn't believe.

Annoying Bit #1 - 57 YEARS!! That's right, 57!!! Is there anyone else out there, (in the madness of Movieland) besides myself, who isn't at all convinced about the plausibility of 57 years passing since Ripley and her puddy-tat nodded off into deep space 'hyper-sleep' ? Can you honestly accept that these 2 space-cadets actually survived for 57 long years floating around across the blasted universe in their cute, little space-coffin without ever being detected until now? It really killed me when the Space Salvage Team finally did locate them (by sheer accident). They were actually disappointed that Ripley was still alive.

Annoying Bit #2 - 23 + 57=80. When Ripley(at approximately 80 years of age by now) is eventually rescued from her swell, little space-coffin she hasn't aged a single day in all that time and her hair hasn't even grown an inch. (in fact, it appears to have gotten shorter) It was the same with her nails. They were still short and finely manicured.

Like, am I wrong here? Isn't it a known fact that even in death one's hair and nails continue to grow? I'm sure I've got that one right. And I can't believe that 'hyper-sleep' would actually stop hair and nail growth. 'Cause if that were so, then it would also have to stop 'Life' growth, too. Wouldn't it? And, besides that, what about nourishment? Yeah. I didn't notice that Ripley was plugged into any IV unit to feed her any life-giving nutrients. And what about the fresh-air supply? Was there really 57+ years worth of it? And, how about those nasty 57 year old bed-sores? YEE-OUCH! And muscle-atrophy? And bowel movements? And urinating? Am I really expected to believe that frickin' 'hyper-sleep' can shut this all off for 57 bloody years and the only side-effects that one will feel after they've been revived is a 'slight' case of grogginess!? Whoa, Boy!! Does director/screenwriter James Cameron take me for a total dummy, or something? Sheesh! I mean, let's face it, folks, the future isn't gonna be this frickin' fantastic. Sorry, but it isn't.

Annoying Bit #3 - Yes, more about 'hyper-sleep'. I guess it even stops one from dreaming, too. Truly amazing, it is. I noticed that after Ripley had been revived from her 'hyper-sleep' slumber that that's when she began to have horrific nightmares every single night. Naturally, if these night-terrors had been going on when she was tucked away so neatly in her tiny space-coffin then her face would've been nothing but a mess of raw mash and bruises, caused by 57 years of smashing it into the coffin's lid everytime she sat up in bed, startled by yet another horrendous dream. Can you imagine the condition of her kisser if this were so?

Annoying Bit #4 - NEWT!! Yeah, the kid, the brat, the rug-rat. She was so frickin' irritating that she made my skin crawl. She was, literally, a ball and chain around the collective-neck of the entire Rescue Team. She was directly responsible for the deaths of about half the members of this heroic (?) team. Newt should've been left behind as an Alien snack. Yeah, she really should've.

Annoying Bit #5 - Yeah, I admit that this one might well be scraping the bottom of the barrel, but what the hell. This one goes right back to the original ALIEN. I would like to know where the hell the Aliens' eyes and ears are. It's especially the eyes that I wanna know the location of. 'Cause I've freeze-framed dozens of shots of these torpedo-headed critters and looked real close at their elongated noggins and I still can't see where the frick their eyes and ears are.

Anyway, that about wraps up my beef for today. Hope I didn't turn anyone off of ALIENS with what I said. It was all done in good fun, folks.

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Feb 17, 2008 2:37 AM
also wrote a review of Aliens
You made good points about Hyper-Sleep and Newt did in fact irritate me but this is one of my favorite movies of all time, so I have to say that for a sci-fi action film this set the standard, Aliens was better then the original which is very hard to accomplish with any film.
Feb 17, 2008 7:45 PM
Hello Tim - Thanks for your comments.

I won't deny that this sequel was truly exceptional. And, yes, it could easily be viewed as superior to the original. There's not many sequels that could boast that.

So, it's 'hyper'-sleep, not 'hiber'. I wasn't quite sure what Burke was saying. I thought it was 'hiber' as an abbreviation of the word 'hibernate'.

Can you tell me if the Aliens had eyes? And, if so, where were they positioned on their heads?
Feb 17, 2008 10:07 PM
You know I don't know about eyes....but I always thought of the hyper sleep as almost like being frozen, you wouldn't need food, you wouldn't age you know the same type of philosophy as the rich people that have their bodies frozen when they become terminally ill.....didn't Walt Disney have his body frozen?

Even though Ripley and everyone else isn't frozen I thought it was the same type of technology.

The good thing about Carrie Henn (Newt) is that this is the only film she ever acted in...so as annoying as she was at least she wasn't in an assload of other films.

one thing that always got me about this film was after the ship crashed coming to rescue them and Hicks is going over what supplies they were able to salvage he says the pulse rifles only have about 50 rounds each......but they go through WAY more then that throughout the rest of the film....50 rounds would go through a machine gun in about 4 -5 seconds.
Feb 18, 2008 2:13 AM
You know, you are probably right about the hyper-sleep business. It's sort of like being frozen, but not frozen.

I agree with you about Newt. I'm glad that was the last we saw of her.

Yeah, I didn't catch that one about the 50 rounds of ammo. The Aliens would've totally wiped them out if that was really all they had.
Feb 18, 2008 2:50 AM
I just remembered in Alien 3 Ripley has a discussion with the doctor in which she says something to the effect that she will be sick for a couple of weeks because she came out of hyper sleep the wrong way....from the crash..... so it must do somthing to the body that makes it pretty much like suspended animation.

Feb 17, 2008 2:51 AM
I just watched this again recently. [Did you know that] Bill Paxton is the only person to be killed by an alien, a predator, and a terminator.
Feb 17, 2008 3:34 AM
William Butler is the only person to be killed by Freddy, Jason and Leatherhead....
Feb 17, 2008 7:54 PM
Hey Suzanne -

I guess Paxton is just the type of guy that needs to be killed by all these invader-types. The more often, the better(?).

As I asked Tim, where are the eyes located on the Aliens heads?
Feb 18, 2008 10:55 PM
They dont gots none.
Bobby B
Feb 20, 2008 2:40 PM
THAT has to be one of the ultimate trivia movie answers. Brilliant. Did you just happen to notice that or did someone point it out to you? Which Terminator? Which Predator? I only saw the first two Terminators and only the one Predator. Wow, talk about bragging rights.
Feb 29, 2008 5:51 PM
Terminator one he was a punk when the terminator first arrived....he was in predator 2 as a cop i think and was hudson in Aliens...

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