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James Cameron, Walter Hill
Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Paul Reiser, Jenette Goldstein, William Hope, Al Matthews, Mark Rolston, Ricco Ross, Carrie Henn, Colette Hiller
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|Movie Review by BillyBob |
February 17th, 2008
The Happy Reunion
Favorite Movie Quote: "Get Away From Her, You B.I.T.C.H!!"
ONE. TWO. Cha-Cha-Cha......
Is anyone ready to Rock 'N' Roll?.......
Hey, Look! How cute! Ripley is showing the Queen of the Torpedo-Heads how to do the Monster Mash (to a machine-gun rhythm, no less) What a Blast! The Queen and her subjects are just ecstatic. They have never had so much fun before. You can bet there's gonna be a rip-roarin' time down at the old LV426 Disco tonight.
Yeah......But, seriously, folks......I'm sure we can all agree on this - When it comes to movie sequels (in the sci-fi/horror genre) ALIENS is ,without a doubt, a colossal success, both with the fans and the box-office, alike. Heck, I was pretty impressed myself, but....BUT!!....Yeah, I know, when it comes to a good, ol' BillyBob Review there's always gonna be a 'but', or 2. Well, I can't help it. I can't!
I hope I haven't scared anyone off by only giving ALIENS a measly 3 star rating. It's 'cause I found some pretty annoying bits in the story and this prevented me from honoring ALIENS with a much higher ranking. All the annoying bits are, of course, forgivable, but, still, I'm itching to point them out, like you wouldn't believe.
Annoying Bit #1 - 57 YEARS!! That's right, 57!!! Is there anyone else out there, (in the madness of Movieland) besides myself, who isn't at all convinced about the plausibility of 57 years passing since Ripley and her puddy-tat nodded off into deep space 'hyper-sleep' ? Can you honestly accept that these 2 space-cadets actually survived for 57 long years floating around across the blasted universe in their cute, little space-coffin without ever being detected until now? It really killed me when the Space Salvage Team finally did locate them (by sheer accident). They were actually disappointed that Ripley was still alive.
Annoying Bit #2 - 23 + 57=80. When Ripley(at approximately 80 years of age by now) is eventually rescued from her swell, little space-coffin she hasn't aged a single day in all that time and her hair hasn't even grown an inch. (in fact, it appears to have gotten shorter) It was the same with her nails. They were still short and finely manicured.
Like, am I wrong here? Isn't it a known fact that even in death one's hair and nails continue to grow? I'm sure I've got that one right. And I can't believe that 'hyper-sleep' would actually stop hair and nail growth. 'Cause if that were so, then it would also have to stop 'Life' growth, too. Wouldn't it? And, besides that, what about nourishment? Yeah. I didn't notice that Ripley was plugged into any IV unit to feed her any life-giving nutrients. And what about the fresh-air supply? Was there really 57+ years worth of it? And, how about those nasty 57 year old bed-sores? YEE-OUCH! And muscle-atrophy? And bowel movements? And urinating? Am I really expected to believe that frickin' 'hyper-sleep' can shut this all off for 57 bloody years and the only side-effects that one will feel after they've been revived is a 'slight' case of grogginess!? Whoa, Boy!! Does director/screenwriter James Cameron take me for a total dummy, or something? Sheesh! I mean, let's face it, folks, the future isn't gonna be this frickin' fantastic. Sorry, but it isn't.
Annoying Bit #3 - Yes, more about 'hyper-sleep'. I guess it even stops one from dreaming, too. Truly amazing, it is. I noticed that after Ripley had been revived from her 'hyper-sleep' slumber that that's when she began to have horrific nightmares every single night. Naturally, if these night-terrors had been going on when she was tucked away so neatly in her tiny space-coffin then her face would've been nothing but a mess of raw mash and bruises, caused by 57 years of smashing it into the coffin's lid everytime she sat up in bed, startled by yet another horrendous dream. Can you imagine the condition of her kisser if this were so?
Annoying Bit #4 - NEWT!! Yeah, the kid, the brat, the rug-rat. She was so frickin' irritating that she made my skin crawl. She was, literally, a ball and chain around the collective-neck of the entire Rescue Team. She was directly responsible for the deaths of about half the members of this heroic (?) team. Newt should've been left behind as an Alien snack. Yeah, she really should've.
Annoying Bit #5 - Yeah, I admit that this one might well be scraping the bottom of the barrel, but what the hell. This one goes right back to the original ALIEN. I would like to know where the hell the Aliens' eyes and ears are. It's especially the eyes that I wanna know the location of. 'Cause I've freeze-framed dozens of shots of these torpedo-headed critters and looked real close at their elongated noggins and I still can't see where the frick their eyes and ears are.
Anyway, that about wraps up my beef for today. Hope I didn't turn anyone off of ALIENS with what I said. It was all done in good fun, folks.
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Feb 17, 2008 2:37 AM
also wrote a review of Aliens
|You made good points about Hyper-Sleep and Newt did in fact irritate me but this is one of my favorite movies of all time, so I have to say that for a sci-fi action film this set the standard, Aliens was better then the original which is very hard to accomplish with any film.|
Feb 17, 2008 2:51 AM
|I just watched this again recently. [Did you know that] Bill Paxton is the only person to be killed by an alien, a predator, and a terminator.|
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