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Star Wars
9 reviews

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Movie Details

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Directed By
George Lucas

Written By:
George Lucas

Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, Alec Guinness, Peter Cushing, Kenny Baker, James Earl Jones, David Prowse, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, Phil Tippett, Phil Brown, Shelagh Fraser, Jack Purvis, Alex McCrindle, Eddie Byrne, Drewe Henley, Denis Lawson, Garrick Hagon, William Hootkins, Angus MacInnes, Jeremy Sinden, Don Henderson, Richard LeParmentier, Rick Baker, Scott Beach, Maria De Aragon, Rusty Goffe, Reg Harding, Christine Hewett, Joe Johnston, Derek Lyons, Rick McCallum, Marcus Powell, Shane Rimmer, Peter Sumner, John Sylla, Malcolm Tierney, Burnell Tucker, Morgan Upton, Larry Ward, Bill Weston, Tim Condren, Kim Falkinburg, Ted Gagliano, Alf Mangan, Roy Straite, Hal Wamsley

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Star Wars (1977)
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Movie Review by BillyBob
June 19th, 2010


In a galaxy far, far away (!?).... Oh, Spare Me!

STAR WARS is dickless. It's got no balls.

This film has got to be one of the suckiest, most over-rated, big-budget Sci-Fi films to ever be inflicted on a gullible movie-audience.

Back when I saw STAR WARS as a kid, sure, it was awesome. Totally. But, let's face it, when you're an impressionable, little squirt like I was, any sort of film of this nature was automatically bound to be rated as "The Best!".

But seeing STAR WARS again, just recently, it quickly became so painfully obvious that after 30 years this film just doesn't hold up anymore. It doesn't. Sure some bits of STAR WARS are still quite impressive. But generally the whole movie does nothing but lag and sag and almost collapse under the weight of its own unbearableness.

By the time that STAR WARS finally (thankfully) came to a close, I utterly detested the likes of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Darth Vader, and all the rest of the easily-hateable, super-annoying characters that inundated this highly over-rated film.

And, may the force be with you (!?).... Oh, Yeah? And F.U., too!

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Jun 20, 2010 8:52 PM
also wrote a review of Star Wars
You know what would be ballsy and impressive?

A person who reviews a movie they actually like.
Jun 21, 2010 12:48 AM
Well..I review movies I love and movies I hate but I will say that its a lot easier for me as a writer to point out the things I dont like about a film rather then the things I do...
Jun 21, 2010 4:30 AM
I don't know if you've observed this about me but I don't comment a lot. Generally, I feel that one's own review is comment enough. I also don't tend to pick message board fights and try not to feed trolls.

Now I've scoped lots of people's reviews (Mike's, Jarrod's, Zara's, Movies Addict's, yours) and I don't pop a squat what anyone's individual opinion is, but when you hate everything (200 reviews with 1.88 average) it starts to get a little tired, especially in this elitist smarter than thou approach. And if one is going play the too cool for school card you'd better post up with your A-game not this weaksauce.

Not liking Star Wars is no crime, but saying something sucks because it sucks sets one's ass up to be imminently kickable when there's a fairly overwhelming tide of critical acclaim based on Star Wars clever reweaving of myth into a scifi morality yarn.
Jun 21, 2010 10:35 PM
Uh... Tom... I mean, Thom -

I see that having a sense of humor is definitely not one of your strong points.

I also see that you're a venomous, cry-baby and a snob, to boot.

I also see that you gave The Wizard of Oz (a classic piece of filmmaking) a lousy 1.5 star rating. But, yet, you whine and criticize 'cause I gave Star Wars 2 stars.

I also see that out of your last 24 movie reviews, half were given a 2.5 star rating, or less. Now, what does that frickin' average out to in "movie-hating" terms?

What more can I say?

I've made my point.

So, now, of course, I'm wondering - Are you someone who always has to have the final word in matters such as this? (a matter which you provoked) Well, if you are that sort of person, then, go ahead and hit me with your best shot! Because what you've said so far is all just snot-nosed drivel to me.
Jun 21, 2010 11:27 PM
You hide behind a phony name, a phony picture, offer no favorites and back up your opinions with name-calling and proclamations of victory. This isn't about last words or proving anything to you. I'm simply addressing your valid point while shredding your relatively invalid review.

Your above review states "this film has got to be one of the suckiest, most over-rated, big-budget Sci-Fi films to ever be inflicted on a gullible movie-audience." Did I read that wrong? Aside from the fact that it's an ignorant statement (Star Wars was shot for $13 million dollars which even with inflation is hardly high budget), is this not meant to imply that those who still like this film are foolish dupes? That's a lot of dupes, as it's listed on AFI' top 100 and referenced in Mythology texts as well as courses taught at institutions of higher learning.

As for Wizard of Oz, I fully admit it's a rating that I feel is unjust. It's a well made film, just not to my personal liking I suppose. I don't begrude you or anyone else disliking Star Wars, it's merely the tone, the implication that you are somehow above and those who favor it are somehow beneath.
Jun 22, 2010 9:10 AM
Tim -

Am I mistaken?

Surely you agree that negative reviews are just as valid and worthwhile as positive ones. I mean, isn't that why your webpage has a specific section that features members who write these sorts of reviews?

'Cause, let's face it, there are just so many-many movies out there that so rightfully deserve to be trashed.
Jun 22, 2010 6:51 PM
Ha...Im not getting in the middle of this.... I understand where you both are coming from...
Jun 22, 2010 11:09 PM
Allow me to extend an olive branch.

When I write reviews for films I perceive as crappy, I can be as snarky as the next guy. As was well stated at the end of Ratatouille by the food critic, it's so fun to trash stuff because we get to put our superiority hat on; I'm guilty of this.

I read a lot of reviews on this site, especially those whose rating sharply deviate from my own. I started eye-balling you way back with Aliens (on my top 20) and then Blade Runner (my favorite movie of all time). Star Wars is not on my Top 20, but Empire Strikes Back is. This is what provoked my investigation of your profile to see what you do like - I figured an "ah, it all makes sense" moment - but according to your profile and posted reviews you don't really like anything.

If the profile you want to project is He Who Drinks Hatorade, that's fine, but in the case of this Star Wars review you use descriptors such as "dickless", "it sags", "doesn't hold up", "easily-hateable characters". How is it dickless? Are you referring to the general lack of sexuality in Star Wars? How does it sag and lag? Doesn't hold up? Special effects? How are they easily hateable?

The point isn't that I disagree with you - Mike posted a very unfavorable review of Grease, which I happen to like - the point is that this review kinda reads like, "I hate Star Wars. Star Wars sucks." It reads like a troll post. I'm not saying that's what it is, just how it reads. So are you trying to communicate your opinion about an overrated film? Or were you just deliberately whacking a hornet's nest of Star Wars fans with a stick?

If it's the former, expand on your opinion, if it's the latter... buzz, buzz, buzz. : )

Because I do agree with you, there are many movies out there the deserve to be trashed, but the two-star rating already let me know you think it sucked; in the review, tell me why it sucked.
Jun 25, 2010 11:11 PM
Hello Thom -

I really do thank you for extending an olive branch.

I certainly don't want to have any nasty confrontations with anybody on this website. I'd like to be able to respect everyone's opinions, whether they agree with what I think, or not.

I must say that when I recently viewed Star Wars, the whole movie just pissed me right off and so when I got around to actually writing a review about it I just wasn't in the mood to elaborate on my feelings, and so I trashed it in as few words as possible, hoping to inject some humorous cynicism into the whole thing, so that others might get a bit of a chuckle out of it. I'd say that the overall effect of the review was really quite impressive, wouldn't you?

I'd like to point out that I don't hate everything. There are a number of movies out there that I actually do rate at 3 stars and above. Like, check out my Wizard of Oz review if you don't believe me, and there are others.

Without trying to sound conceited, or anything, I kinda like to think that having someone like myself on this website is a good balance to those who are forever giving 4 star ratings to every single movie, even if it doesn't deserve it.

Anyways - Thanks again for extending the olive branch out to me. That was a really decent gesture. And now I'd like to extend it back to you.

Adios, Amigo.

Jun 19, 2010 8:28 PM
I am a fan of the star wars films...well at least the first 3....but I agree with you sort of....I do not understand why these films are as popular as they are....they are a bit cheesy when you watch them as an adult but they are very nostalgic....everyone has childhood memories of playing with the toys and pretending to be different characters.
In my opinion George Lucas has always been an over-rated hack whom I couldnt care less about.
Jun 20, 2010 4:54 PM
Yep. Watching Star Wars through eyes unclouded by nostalgia really changes one's perspective on the whole "Star Wars" phenomenon.

So, which character was one of your favorite?

Jun 20, 2010 7:56 AM
"Star wars" and "Lord of the rings" are over-loved by everyone, but i find them seriously "Meh!"
Jun 20, 2010 4:56 PM
Martin - It's always good to hear from you.

You know, I'm beginning to think that, perhaps, you dislike even more movies than I do.
Jun 21, 2010 12:47 AM
I like Han Solo the best....I mean Mark Hamill was just such a pu**y in the films that it was hard to think of him as a hero.

Martin you bring up Lord Of The Rings...and in my opinion I have grown to love those films much more then the Star Wars franchise. I watched them when they came out and didnt really love them or hate them....got bored a few years later and rewatched them all again and I think finally understood the story a lot more and really got into them.

Mike Thomas
Jun 22, 2010 12:33 PM
Okay - I gottta jump in here...

You don't like STAR WARS - okay. But how does it rate with the rest of the trilogy, or for that matter, the entire series? I felt REVENGE of the SITH was more of a term paper, made just to tie up all the loose ends (16 years to make the friggin' Death Star?) I thought the series got better, then tanked with the first three episodes, and ended almost as a documentary.

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