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Gable and Lombard (1976)
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Trashing Another Hollywood Myth
Well, My Nostalgic Darlings - Believe me, this film is pure rancid tripe. It's got nothing, whatsoever, to do with the reality of the offscreen relationship that took place between Clark Gable and Carol Lombard, 2 of Hollywood's biggest Box-Office Stars of the 1930's.
Some time ago I actually read Carol Lombard's very frank biography and, I'm tellin' ya, the relationship between Carol and Clark was certainly not made in Hollywood Heaven, that's for sure. In fact, it reminded me of something that came straight out of Hollywood Hell in a lot of ways.
For starters - Clark Gable was already married to a woman named Ria when he first started 'screwing' around with Carol. Ria divorced Gable over his rampant womanizing. And it was MGM Studios (whom both Gable and Lombard worked for) that put these 2 greatly admired Stars up to this whole marriage thing. And, you can bet, it was a fantastic bit of money-making publicity for greedy, old MGM.
In her 'Tell-All' biography Lombard said that she and Gable really didn't like each other that much, anyways, but they both agreed to this marriage-business just to please those bigwig bastards at MGM. And, of course, MGM played up this 'hokey' marriage to the absolute hilt and the clueless, naive public were utterly delighted by it.
During this farcical marriage, Carol and Clark did actually live together, but they pretty much lived their own seperate lives. About the only time that they were ever really seen together was when making glamorous public appearances that had been purposely set up by MGM's Publicity Department.
In her very candid way Carol exposed a number of very personal/private things about Clark Gable who, at the time, was considered to be the ultimate movie heart-throb of the entire decade.
Carol eagerly revealed such scintilating things as - Gable was a lousy lover, he had a small-ish dick, he was a premature ejaculator, and he had incredibly bad breath. She also stated that while they were married they both continued to have sex with other partners. There was no jealousy between them.
Besides all of this - On the very night that Carol Lombard was killed in a plane crash, Clark Gable was too busy in bed banging away at the young, new starlet, Lana Turner, with his baby-dick, to answer the phone when the news came about Carol's tragic death. He heard all about it come the next morning.
As you can so plainly see, this bit of celebrity reality is, by comparison, quite an eye-opening contrast to the ridiculous fairy-tale fluff that is presented in this trashy film. If Gable and Lombard's story had even been a little bit honest in its plotline, then it might have been a half-way interesting movie. But as it stands, with all its one-dimensional characters, and whatnot, it's nothing but a bald-faced lie from start to finish. And that, my darlings, reduces it (beyond a doubt) to the lowest ranks of a totally worthless write-off.
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