Andy Warhol's Flesh (1968)
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|Movie Review by BillyBob |
January 31st, 2012
COY INNOCENCE & "CHEEKY" JOE'S FLESH
Favorite Movie Quote: "How can I make any money with no clean underwear?"
So, how's this for some real "drama"?
In one of FLESH's many gripping scenes a "no-name" John leans over and gleefully squeezes a pimple on the face of sleazy hustler, Joe.
My-Oh-My! - Now, isn't that simply the most fascinating thing that you've ever heard of? Isn't it!!??
And, just you wait till you see the scene where Joe gets a cute, little bow tied around his precious, little pecker. Believe me, you'll truly wonder why FLESH was never Oscar-nominated for something, or other.
From one super-dull encounter to another, FLESH (starring hot, new "ANDY WARHOL" discovery, JOE DALLESANDRO) used any excuse that it possibly could (and then some) to get Joe to take his clothes off one more time (ho-hum) in order to show us all what a pretty-pretty bum that he had.
And, was Joe's bum really so pretty as all that? Well - To this viewer here, it looked pretty farty and stinky, if you wanna know the truth about it.
Featuring some of the most stifling, boring and downright idiotic dialog imaginable, FLESH's story revolves around the activities of NYC, street hustler, Joe, who, when he's not dazzling one and all with his dreary, gutter-level philosophy, he's picking up "johns", left, right, and center, who never demand that Joe give them sex, or expect to actually touch Joe - No - These morons fork out good money just to have Joe take off his clothes so that they can have the privilige of admiring his flabby butt cheeks (from a "safe" distance, of course).
Have you ever heard of such imbecilic rot as this s-h-i-t before??
When we aren't having Joe's smelly butt shoved into our faces for about the umpteenth frickin' time - We are forced to have to listen to the wit and wisdom (tee-hee-hee) of a couple of dizzy drag queens as they discuss, in great depth, several choice articles from a Photoplay Magazine (your typical Hollywood tattle-tale rag) that they just happen to be browsing through at the same moment as Joe is getting his dick sucked right next to where they are sitting.
You know, it really-really figures that FLESH was an "ANDY WARHOL" production. I could plainly see (and, obviously, smell) the low-life stench of his demented, anally-fixated mentality smeared all over this one in big, messy lumps.
I believe that FLESH's 90 minute running time could've very easily been reduced to about a length of only 30 minutes and no one would've missed a frickin' thing. They really wouldn't.
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Feb 1, 2012 12:47 PM
|A very funny review, man.|
Feb 6, 2012 12:12 PM
|Andy Warhol should have really stuck to pop art. I had the misfortune to sit through his version of DRACULA. It really made you appreciate the caliber of Joe Dallesandro's performance.|
Yes, it was that bad.
I remember going to see FLESH and being exposed (in all its cinematic,wide screen glory) Joe's butt plastered across the screen in the opening shot.
Scarred me for life. At least I'm not the only one who recognized Andy's limitation.
Stick to Campbell's Soup.
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