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Cat On a Hot Tin Roof (1958)
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Movie Review by BillyBob
October 17th, 2009
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KITTEN WITH A WHIP - MEOW TO THE MAX!
Favorite Movie Quote: "One of those no-neck monsters just hit me with some ice-cream."
Put the blame on Big Daddy.
Attention : Horror-Movie Fans.... Welcome to the CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF (COAHTR) Horror Show. It's all about human greed at its most contemptible. Truly repulsive, it is. This incredibly scathing sample of avarice is, of course, brought to you courtesy of the unbelievably insatiable, the utterly homosexual, the absolutely alcoholic (I read his biography), Playwright TENNESSEE WILLIAMS.
WILLIAMS had a real knack for exposing, through his plays, the ugly, detestable side of human nature. He did it with such a knowledgable sense of accuracy, too.... I guess - 'Birds Of A Feather Flock Together' is how the saying (and, also, how this movie) goes.
But , hey, if anyone's got a craving for some real, honest-to-goodness 'Mendacity', well, then, just say "Hello!" to Gooper, and Brick, and Trixie, and all the other beautiful/hideous No-Neck Freaks that occupy monster-space within this flick's story. But, you better Watch Out! 'Cause mendacity is extremely contagious. It is. And if any of it splatters onto your carcass you're doomed to follow in all of these 'No-Neck's' conniving, little foot-steps, sure enough.... I kid you not.
And talk about having about a hundred axes to grind - Man, these ruthless, little no-neckers (one, and all) rip, and tear, and claw their fiendish way right through every single scene in this flick. I mean, can't these folks even just enjoy a peaceful, little picnic of hoppin' jaw and crocodile gizzards without a sneer and a lousy remark being exchanged with every goddamn mouthful of food? Well, can't they?
Big Daddy is, of course, everyone's main concern in COAHTR. Yeah. Everyone's sure 'concerned', alright. They're so damned 'concerned' that they're, literally, laying bets to see when this old fart (with the spastic colon) is gonna croak. Ribbit. Ribbit. It can't be soon enough, that's for sure.
COAHTR is basically a textbook exercise in vicious heartlessness from start to finish. It's certainly a familiar, old tale about a low-down, muck-slinging, skeleton-in-your-closet, Family Feud with all the savage trimmings thrown in at no extra cost. Who'd have ever thought that 'Southern-Fried' rich folks would love-love-love to hate each other so much? TENNESSEE WILLIAMS knows. Especially when it comes to the likes of one's immediate family... Yep. Yep. Just like good, ol' Colonel Sanders always says 'It's finger lickin' good to stab your relatives in the back."... It is.... The Colonel knows best, of course.
Anyway - With all of that said and done - Who can really blame me for complaining that I personally found COAHTR to be a major letdown. Too many people have told me far too often that this one was really, Really, REALLY(!!) a super-great flick - A 'Classic', in fact. But, it wasn't. No. Sorry, but, big-time bickering and b-i-t-c-hing gets unbelievably annoying and boring after a while.
And talk about confusing!? Man, the skirting around, and around, and around (ho-hum) of the tedious subject of homosexuality, but, refusing to ever name it, was enough to make me wanna switch over to some BEAVIS & BUTT-HEAD cartoons just to kill the distasteful monotony of it all. Movie-Censors back in the 50's must've been total self-righteous prig-nuts when it came to turd-sized, but controversial, subject matter such as closeted-queerdom, and all that mega-silly rot.
And besides all of that crap - I'm getting pretty damn fed up with having to endure watching yet another flick about some whining, resentful child (now grown up) who is laying absolute blame on at least one of his/her parents for not loving him/her (when they were younger) the way that they figured they should've been loved. C'mon now, you snivelling, little twits, get over it!! Like, as though they themselves were some kind of frickin' expert on rating love and doing a better job about dishing it out to whoever they're having a relationship with, or whatever!... Ha!
I mean, if there is any well-deserved blame and resentment to be leveled at Big Daddy, and, yes, Big Mama, too, it should be for giving their sons such utterly idiotic names like Brick, and especially Gooper. Yeah, Gooper! What person(s) in their right mind would lay such an inhuman cruelty on their own flesh by bloody-well naming their snotty, little brat Gooper!!?? That's a fate worse than death, if you ask me.
And that, of course, ends my riveting review of CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF.... Meow!!
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