The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
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Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan, David S. Goyer, Bob Kane
Tom Hardy, Christian Bale, Liam Neeson, Anne Hathaway, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Gary Oldman, Juno Temple, Marion Cotillard, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Josh Pence, Joey King, Matthew Modine, Christopher Judge, Nestor Carbonell, Brett Cullen, Tom Conti, Chris Ellis, Diego Klattenhoff, Alon Aboutboul, Uri Gavriel, Duane Henry
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A Star-Spangled Banner Of Stinky, Old Bat Poop!
I couldn't believe my eyes! An atom bomb was detonated just 2 miles off Gotham City's shore and (get this!) it didn't even create the slightest ripple in the water.
Nor did this fierce explosion send even a trifling gust of wind over the land, either.
You know, if that's the way it was gonna be, then I'm not gonna even begin to wonder about the complete lack of concern from all Gothamites (?) when it came to the reality of radioactive fallout.
(Ha! What a total scream!)
To me, this one scene alone (which, by the way, was clearly intended to be The Dark Knight Rises' (TDKR) triumphant climax) was such a frickin' dud. And, with it being a dud, it pretty much summed up the overall entertainment value of this $250 million production in a literal nutshell.
And, what's even the worst of all about this is - I had to sit through 2.5 hours of tolerating the likes of Christian Bale (as the most despicable Batman/Bruce Wayne character imaginable). And, at the end of it all, what I got handed as TDKR's high point was the most pathetic and limp-wristed atomic explosion ever recorded in Hollywood movie-history. (Hey! I ain't kidding here!)
You know, as something of a band-aid for this serious disappointment, I would've gladly accepted it if Batman had finally unmasked the big-bad Bane character. Yeah. That would've certainly served as some sort of a second-rate compensation for the lame a-bomb explosion.
But, I guess, with director Christopher Nolan being something of a sadistic bastard, I was even denied this pleasure of seeing Bane without his mask. And, with that, I was left ultimately deflated from start to finish.
In my opinion, TDKR's story, with its prefabricated sentiment, its pretentious philosophical double-talk, its badly-staged fight sequences and its numerous, badly-lit "filler" scenes, just went over & over & over the same, old, tired ground which I've seen about 1000x before in every other Superhero/Action movie that's come before it.
The only slight satisfaction that I got out of TDKR was to be left at the end with the ray of hope (as thin as it was) that Batman was, in fact, really, and truly dead.
Anyways - Regardless of whether Batman's really dead, or not - It appears like it's now Robin's big moment to shine and carry on the torch of being a goody-goody crime-fighter. And, you know what? I'm totally bored with the prospect of that, already!
It really killed me the way that Christian Bale would try to alter his voice and make it sound all tough and commanding whenever his Bruce Wayne character put on the Batman costume.
But, Bale, being such a second-rate actor, only ended up sounding like an utter fool whose throat was seriously clogged with globs of gritty phlegm.
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May 29, 2014 7:13 PM
also wrote a review of The Dark Knight Rises
|That elephant in the room was totally overlooked by me!|
It was a neutron bomb. The fusion bomb MAY explain that one, but I doubt if that was thought out.
FYI, I'm having technical difficulties posting you guys reviews. The RSS feed I use hasn't been updated since the 14th, and I can't do it. I'm working on it.
Glad to see you back in form!
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