A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) (2010)
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Wesley Strick, Wes Craven, Eric Heisserer
Jackie Earle Haley, Katie Cassidy, Kyle Gallner, Rooney Mara, Thomas Dekker, Kellan Lutz, Clancy Brown, Connie Britton, Charles E Tiedje, Andrew Fiscella, Judith Hoag, Tommy Bartlett, Joe DeVito, Tony Domino, Thomas Kosik, Dan Latham, Scott Lindvall, Joseph Mazurk, Kurt Naebig, Rebecca Spence, Christian Stolte, Giota Trakas, Shirin Caiola, Christopher Midkiff, Grace Rex, Lia D. Mortensen, Anna Hagopian, Patrick Sokley, Carissa Casula, Jennifer Dickey, Greg Kuk, Eddie Kunz, Frank Anthony Meo, Kathy Midkiff, Grace Rex, Roger Wiggins
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Freddy Should Have Stayed Dead
Favorite Movie Quote: "Nice try, Nancy. Now let me take a stab."
You sleep, you dream, you die. You fight Freddie. You win. Roll credits.
In the time you read the first sentence, that's how much time was devoted to an actual plot.
The kids of Springwood are being slaughtered one by one, quite brutally, and quite publicly. The victims see the evil Freddy Krueger (Jackie Earle Haley - we'll get to him later), but the witnesses only see the blood. The battle comes down to the last two survivors, Quentin Smith (Kyle Gallner) and Nancy Holbrook (Rooney Mara). They face off Freddy and.....
....I can't do this! There's more content in what I've written so far than there is in the entire movie! Of the 95 minutes of this exercise in basic slicing and dicing, no more than FIVE MINUTES were devoted to any kind of coherent story AND character development. The entire movie was all about the deaths.
Jackie Earle Haley, who made such a powerful presence as Rorschach in WATCHMEN makes a mean, joyless Freddy, who, in the flashbacks, is made to look like the victim! The VICTIM! Earley as the most sadistic, gleeful, sinister slasher villain of them all, and who will be solely responsible for the success of this movie, is presented as a sad, lonely man, who loves children. REALLY loves children. He is taken out of the infamous Boiler Room and in a Pre-School basement. Why the writers chose to add that aspect to his character only makes him even more pathetic.
The "Red Shirts," a name I now use for the cast members in any movie who were hired simply to die, were dispatched with virtually no suspense whatsoever. They're introduced, they fall asleep, they see Freddy, and in the next scene, they're Red Shirt Tar-Tar. With the "real" Freddy, the incomparable Robert Englund, there was at least some build-up, a little suspense before the big kill. You really never knew how good Englund was as Freddy until you watch a bad photocopy go though the motions. Even at his corniest, Englund was fun to watch. Haley was too way much Rorschach than Krueger, where even when he did crack the woefully infrequent joke, was far too vicious, as if he had to work at showing any emotion except cruelty.
On my new rating scale of with 5 being drop everything and see the movie now; if you're female, bear the producers' children and 0 being burn down the theater, murder the movie staff, and violate their dog, this movie rates a sad "0.125." The movie reminded me of a bad joke: How many writers does it take to wreck a horror film? In this case, it was four, with Wes Craven actually giving credibility to this movie by taking a writing credit himself for the characters, his sole contribution to this movie.
And the saddest part of this travesty is that the Lemmings Effect will grip the movie-going audience once more in 2012 when A NIGHTMARE on ELM STREET 2 is scheduled for release.
God help us all.
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