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G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
5 reviews

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Movie Details

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Directed By
Stephen Sommers

Written By:
Stuart Beattie, David Elliot, Paul Lovett, Michael Gordon, Stuart Beattie, Stephen Sommers

Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Sienna Miller, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Christopher Eccleston, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Rachel Nichols, Ray Park, Jonathan Pryce, Arnold Vosloo, Byung-hun Lee, Brittany Alexis Palmer, Ron Yuan, Brandon Soo Hoo, Courtney Fleming, Jabbaar George, Gerald Okamura, Michael Benyaer, David Jean Thomas, David Murray, Bob Rumnock, Frederic Doss, Jerald Garner, Burton Perez, Ken Thomas, Ryan Van de Kamp Buchanan, Michael Bretten, Chris Akers, Brad Carr, Jason Castle, Joe Davis, Brendan Fraser, Charles Howerton, Zaayan Lala, Jeff Lam, Wayne Lopez, P. David Miller, Lili Mirojnick, Ken Moreno, Westley Nguyen, Tom Ohmer, Lalo Reyes, Jason Roehm, Gubbi Sigurdsson, Sean Velie, Kaleti Williams, Brianna Womick, Leo Howard, Joe Guth, Shannah Barrett, Gunner Wright, Duncan Bravo, Saïd Taghmaoui, Karolina Kurkova, Elena Evangelo, Luke Massy, Kellie Matteson, Michael Broderick, Wesley Busser, Hugh Daly, Vincent Defebo, Michael Foster, Mark Hames, Victor Harris, Daniel Josev, Mary Kircher, Renzo Lewis Jr., Melissa S. Markess, Dan Martino, Markell Pool, Sean Richter, Mary Scanlon, Bryan Soto, Joe Chacon, Ken Edling

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (2009)
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Movie Review by Martin
January 6th, 2010

As one of the only big summer movies I missed I eventually got round to seeing this. Even though there was a reason I missed it. It looked rubbish, and it is.

Having one of the worst titles in history didn't seem to be enough to stop me wasting my time with this one. What I will say in its favour though is that it doesn't want to be boring, but kind of is, relying on its action as much as it does. Its also unintentionally hilarious, but once again, this is because it is bad, and I was laughing AT it more than the couple of times I laughed WITH it.

The movie is altogether a poor attempt to cash in on an already well known franchise. Ok a transformers movie must of sounded like a good idea when someone suggested it, but a G.I Joe movie? Come on! Who thought this was ever going to work? Whats going to be next? Seriously.

As if the idea getting past its pitch wasn't enough, someone decided to let the joke that is Stephen Sommers direct. His movies have been getting worse and worse anyway. (Did anyone actually like "The Mummy returns?") If he'd of made something instead of this it would of still been awful, but he made this nonsense. So there you go. It was destined to be bad.

There are some decent special effects, but a lot of bad ones too, the so called plot is all over the place, the end made me want to throw the lap top I watched it on out the window, and most of the cast are awful, and those who aren't usually bad, seem to have just become bad specially for the movie. Christopher Eccelstons Scottish accent is by far the worst thing in the flick, and in one scene, where an apparently "celtic" Scottish word was used as a password, just made me (as a Scottish person) want to hunt down Eccelson and attack him.

Ok so Marlon Wayans isn't as irritating as usual as the traditional comedy sidekick, but the only 2 that make the movie anywhere near bearable are Sienna Miller (because she looks amazing as the leather clad vilaness) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, in his surprising appearance. I can honestly say he doesn't get enough screen time here as Sommers seems to think the more action the better. Hopefully in the inevitable sequel (Can't believe I just wrote that) he will.

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