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Directed By
Nia Vardalos
Written By:
Nia Vardalos, Stephen David, Ben Zook
Cast:
John Corbett, Nia Vardalos, Judah Friedlander, Zoe Kazan, Dan Finnerty, Ward Horton, Cheryl Cosenza, Amir Arison, Brett Berg, Stephen Guarino, Peter Conboy, John Tormey, Rachel Hamilton, Gary Wilmes, Tracy Thorpe, Todd Ryan Jones, Ben Schwartz, Anna Kuchma, Ronnie Kroell, Autumn Ready Potter, Lori Martini, Gaetano Iacono, Daniel R Cooper, Hiram Jacob Segarra, Kapil Bawa
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I Hate Valentine's Day (2009)
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Movie Review by Jarrod
July 7th, 2009
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Don't ask me why 'I Hate Valentine's Day' got a summer release, when it would have been better suited for, release, say, on February 14, actually on Valentine's Day. This is Nia Vardalos's directorial debut; she hit it big with My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which she wrote the script for, and appeared in the forgettable My Life in Ruins just last month. It is a formulaic, cloying romantic comedy, really more formulaic than most other romantic comedies I can think of; I mean it is assembled almost exclusively from genre cliches, with an extremely predictable ending and plot trajectory.
I am trying to come up with a reason you might want to see this, or should see this, and I am drawing a blank. Maybe you like Vardalos, as I do; she is a charming actress with a great smile, and I believe she smiles in every scene here. Maybe you like John Corbett, a dependable leading man in movies like this. He and Vardalos are an attractive couple, but are sorely lacking in chemistry. No sparks at all. The writing is clumsy, and consistently unfunny.
Vardalos is Genevieve, who runs a flower shop in Brooklyn. She has a gift for advising clueless men on what to get their wives and girlfriends for Valentine's Day, suggesting both flowers and chocolate, which is usually what most men get their wives and girlfriends anyway, unless told otherwise. Genevieve has placed a handicap on herself when it comes to dating; she refuses to go out on more than five dates with the same guy.
She wants to avoid long-term relationships and is apparently afraid of commitment, but she is also interested in something more than a one-night stand. None of her friends seem to recognize the ridiculousness of this policy, and tend to ignore it, while still flocking to Genevieve for the romantic wisdom they believe she can impart. I do not know what her credentials are, and what she does to her various suitors struck me as unnecessarily cruel, but then, could they hope to understand her bizarre rules.
Why do these rules exist in the first place? Genevieve never adequately explains it. Everything changes, of course, when she meets Greg (Corbett), a former lawyer who plans on opening a bar, right next door to Genevieve's establishment, conveniently enough. Greg is involved with a flight attendant, but then they break up, and he goes out with Genevieve. Can you guess what happens next?
Supporting characters are a mixed bag; best of the bunch is Zoe Kazan, as Genevieve's friend Tammy. Worst is the irritating, detestable Cal (Gary Wilmes), Greg's buddy from law school. Stephen Guarino and Amir Arison embody antiquated stereotypes as Bill and Bob, Genevieve's two gay assistants. We are supposed to laugh at them, and maybe we would have, 10 or 15 years ago. Sure to be overwhelmed by the blockbusters.
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