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All Movie Info
Starring:
Josh Pais, Trent Moore, Lenny Von Dohlen, Ashley Springer, Leslie Dawn Forsyth, John Hensley, Jess Weixler, Jess Weixler, Hale Appleman, Paul Galvan, Julia Garro, Kristen Gabrielle Green, Ava Ryen Plumb, Amber M. Rogers, Angela J. Rogers, David E. Rogers, Jessica A. Rogers, Timothy L. Rogers, Taylor Sheppard, Nicole Swahn, Hunter Ulvog, Adam Wagner, Kiri Weatherby, Vivienne Benesch
Directed By:
Mitchell Lichtenstein
Written By:
Mitchell Lichtenstein
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Teeth (2008)
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Movie Review by Zara 
May 9th, 2008
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If you're a guy, I'd probably recommend that you steer clear of this movie. Especially if you had no idea what it was about before watching it. I won't go into details, but I had a shivering and freaked-out AlphaMale in bed with me last night who didn't think it was funny when I gnashed my teeth.
The movie isn't talking about the teeth in a woman's mouth, however. Most people have caught on that this movie is about vagina dentata, or teeth embedded in the vagina. It's been a myth for many ancient cultures and I found it uniquely interesting to explore this for a movie.
What's great about the film is that it isn't your standard horror flick. It's a black comedy with some gruesome (and flinch and leg-crossing worthy moments for the men) scenes where bad people get their due. It also focuses on how the male quest for domination of the female genitals, whether through sexual activity or more medical funding going into the female anatomy not so that they can understand it better but so they can control it... long inhalation, then finish your thought, Zara... the joke of how women are taught to be chaste, modest and clean. And that if you're not, you're somehow cursed.
But towards the end, you can take the curse, the power of your vagina, and use it to your needed end result. Is that concept crude? Sure, but men have been relying on the "boys will be boys" bullsh*t for years, this movie ends up being a breath of well laid out fresh air.
Newcomer Jess Weixler (and I use newcomer lightly since she does have a few television credits to her name) is adorable when the situation calls for it, hinting so slyly at the humour behind it all that you fall in love with her.
The other characters in the movie, however, go largely undeveloped. The question of why the brutal and sadistic step-brother is still living in the parental home with no supervision or guidance is a head-scratcher. Most of the adults come off as clueless and almost like pieces of furniture for the film. This movie is meant to be about Weixler, but it could have stood to have a little more fleshing out in those other areas.
All in all, if you're a guy, you'll probably hate it. If you're a girl who's not freaked out by some blood and gore, you'll probably love the empowerment theme behind it and the black humour of the "promise rings" and vows of virginity, especially with everything we're bombarded with these days. People who believe those pledges actually work must love the smell of sh*t considering how far they're sticking their heads up their asses.
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 | Thom
May 9, 2008 7:51 PM
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| pu**y-teeth... Mmmmm. |
 | Zombie Boy
May 9, 2008 9:03 PM
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I not read! I not read!
Sorry. Having a Short-Round moment. I actually have this DVD sitting in its red Netflix sleeve on the dining room table. I won't be watching it 'til Sunday night. But I am glad to see you give it 4-stars. Luckily there weren't any comic books in the past that had the same premise :) |
| Zombie Boy
May 12, 2008 5:11 AM
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| Believe it or not, some of us are not so threatened by a film portraying a sexually empowered women, or cannot remove ourselves from the sight of another man losing his penis. I am a man, and I thought this movie was right-f*cking-on. I never cringed (well, maybe at the dog scene) and I will not be having nightmares. |
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