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Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
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Talking to the characters in the movie never works
They still make dumb choices no matter what I say. This is one of those "eye-candy" movies that take full advantage of the visuals to try to distract you from how stupid the people in the movie are in their actions and choices. For some reason I thought this was going to be remotely close to the David Bowie/Jennifer Connelly movie Labyrinth from the 80s. It wasn't even close. I know that two are totally unrelated, but for I was really looking forward to getting the same type of fantasy vibe. Instead all I got were arse-hole Spanish troops, a few fairies and a weird ram looking thing.
Princess Moanna, whose father is the king of the underworld, becomes curious about the world above. When she goes to the surface, she forgets about her life in the underworld and grows old and dies as a mortal. The king believes that her spirit will come back to the underworld someday. Ofelia a young girl who loves fairy tales, travels with her pregnant mother Carmen to meet Captain Vidal, her new stepfather and father of Carmen's unborn child were one their way back to their home when Ofelia discovered what she thought was fairy. It leads her to an ancient beast called a faun that tells her she is Princess Moanna reincarnated and she must accomplish three tasks before the next full moon so she can return to her kingdom. Now she must accomplish the three goals with a war going on and her mother's failing health.
I am going to keep this short, I didn't like this movie. Too many circumstances could have been avoided if the people involved had just enough brain power to operate a light switch. Yes the movie looked very pretty, but a cube a crap is not a cake no matter how much frosting you cover it with. I could deal with the Spanish dialog (the quote from the Simpson's movie "I was elected to lead, not to read" comes to mind because I don't watch movies to read subtitles.) The acting was decent, but I recognized not a single person. This movie touted a real fantasy escapism that never really took place. Maybe I was just tired or just expecting too much from this movie, I don't know. I am done with this; I want my two hours back now please.
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 | Paul
Oct 29, 2007 6:51 AM
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That really was one of the dumbest reviews that I have ever read. How badly could one person miss the point! Pam's Labyrinth is the definition of a "Perfect Movie" like the Godfather or Apocalypse Now, the film is as beautifully to look at as it is engrossing. But for me what really takes the biscuit is when you start to b*tch about reading sub-titles. Expand your mind you square.
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Oct 29, 2007 8:27 AM