Aeon Flux (2005)
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|Movie Review by Tony |
June 6th, 2006
When Academy Award winning actors go bad, tonight on NBC. Joining us is Robert Benigni, who won Best Actor for LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, but then went onto to star in the disastrous PINOCCHIO. Also, stopping by is Cuba Gooding Jr., who won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in Jerry Maguire, then went on to start in such crap fests as WHAT DREAMS MAY COME TRUE, PEARL HARBOR, RAT RACE, SNOW DOGS, BOAT TRIP, RADIO, and a whole lot of others. The lovely Mira Sorvino will make an appearance, she won the Best Supporting Actress for MIGHTY APHRODITE, and then went onto to such duds as TALES OF EROTICA, MIMIC, WISEGIRLS, and others. Just joining us is Frances McDormand and Charlize Theron, who just starred in AEON FLUX. Thanks for joining us everybody.
This kind of film is a movie critics dream. The chance to put the smack down on a truly horrible film and never look back. Paramount having little to no faith in this film decided to just throw this film into theaters late last year without screening it for critics. What that usually means is that some executive or person working for Paramount saw this film in the screening room, lost their lunch, and decided to pull a fast one and hope word would not get out as to how bad it is. But then again, I don't think anyone is walking into AEON FLUX, expecting a good film. Guys are attending to see Charlize Theron in tight spandex, and S and M outfits, beat up males for 94 minutes.
This is based on a animated series that was shortly on MTV back in the late 90's, which has a lot of acclaim and quite a rabid fan following. Would have probably been wise to capitalize on that fame in the late 90's and release this film. Not wait a decade later when the show is out of most peoples minds. But with Hollywood not being able to shell out anything original, it is no surprise that this was made into a feature length film. The only surprise is why Theron and McDormand wasted their time on this dreadful mess. I can only hope it lead to a great financial gain, but as the old expression goes, quality NOT quantity.
We are transformed 400 years into the feature, when a worldwide disease and plague has wiped out the majority of the earth's population except for one walled, protected city-state, Bregna, ruled by a congress of scientists. We get introduced to Aeon Flux, the top operative in the underground 'Monican' rebellion, led by The Handler (Frances McDormand). She sends Aeon on a mission to kill a government leader. Frances McDormand appears to be able to just appear out of the clear blue sky, like Charlie in CHARLIES ANGELS, only this time, we can see her. She then sends Theron on these assignments, which she is manifestly incapable of even beginning to complete.
This film review will be real simple as this is what happens: Theron beating up and killing guys for 10 minutes (you would think when they see the chick in spandex, to get the hell out of dodge), weird and bizarre speech that makes no sense, and them stopping and taking time out to try and explain things to us. All I have to say is the crew must have been snickering on set during this film. All throughout the movie, I kept waiting for BLADE or CONSTANTINE to show up, and suggest she joins forces with them in their lonely one man crusades against diabolical forces.
Upon this film ending I kept asking myself: "why was this movie made?" What was the director trying to accomplish with it? What was the purpose? What was the theory? Truth be told, I thought about this for a while. The only explanation I can come up with is to lure guys into the theater who want to get beat up by Charlize Theron in S and M outfits, and have them live out their fantasy by watching it on screen. That was really the only reason I could see this film being made on any level or why someone would wanna see it.
The visuals are junky, and second rate, the performances are awful, and the whole thing just reeks of mediocrity. If you are going to make a movie with Theron in these outfits and doing the things she does, at least have the guts to make it sexy and erotic. Despite the presence of Theron in small outfits and carrying big guns, this film is erotically challenged. If you have these great actors like Theron and Frances, why don't you give them characters to work with or something to really sink their teeth into?
They are left just reading off the screen basically these over the top speeches and backgrounds. It is really weird. I'm trying to find something in AEON FLUX, but I came up empty. If people ever want to know what's wrong with the Hollywood film system, look no further then this movie. This was played at every theater in town, while films like HARD CANDY, you need to drive 100 miles out of your way to check them out. It has dumbed everyone and everything down and just turned your local cinema into an idiots convention.
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