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The Amityville Horror (2005)
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Movie Review by Tony 
April 7th, 2006
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Hollywood's latest obsession with remakes and horror movies leads us to the 2005 version of "The Amityville Horror". This version brings us Ryan Reynolds and anytime I see two Ryan Reynolds movies in a matter of two months, I begin to wonder who I pissed off upstairs to have to endure his "acting". It is based on a true story.
In November 1974, a family of six was brutally murdered by their oldest son, who was 28. Years later, a young couple decided hey, let's move into that exact house. Apparently they don't watch the news much and had no idea of the murders. Yet, they find out before purchasing it and decide, what the hell, we will still buy that house.
The original is not very good, the remake is worse. This is not an upgrade. The problem with "Amityville Horror" is it does not even try and be good. This movie was not screened for critics and runs at only 89 minutes. This was made for a quick buck without any attempt at anything different or interesting for the audience. It shows much they thought of their audience in this one.
Rachel Nichols in MGM's The Amityville Horror
When the movies conflict can be solved in 5 minutes by packing up your bags and leaving this spooky house, you can tell not much effort was worked on the screenplay. This movie follows the tired, overdone, and cheesy scary movie house with lots of weird looking kids, things jumping out and going BOO! and evil spirits overtaking humans. I think I have seen my limit of scary movie houses with the above mentioned.
When the moments in the movie that are meant to scare and frighten induce laughs instead of squeals, you have major problems with your horror movie. The acting as can be expected is brutal. Reynolds as usual is boring and dull. Melissa George should stick to TV and "Alias". The kid actors are not bad, but they are just used to be apart of the house to run around and look scared.
Ryan Reynolds and Melissa George in MGM's The Amityville Horror
Overall, "The Amityville Horror" has no redeemable qualities or any style with the direction. Typical horror movie special effects are used. Nothing we have not seen before. Listen to the voices in your head, pass on this bore.
Tony Farinella
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