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Words such as "creepy", "bizarre", and "strange" were not words I expected to use to describe "The Polar Express". This is a film that is made for children, but as a 20 year old male, I have to tell you, it scared the living sh*t out of me and gave me the creeps. All throughout this film, I kept having flashbacks to my childhood. You see, I have an older sister, who is 32, married with kids and the whole deal. When she used to live at home, she would collect these odd looking dolls. I use the washroom quite a bit at night, and back then in order to use the washroom, on the way to the washroom, I would have to pass her room and this group of 10-20 dolls would stare at me. It was revolting. The people in his film, not sure what they are made out of, clay, or whatever, look EXACTLY like those dolls. This is scary stuff. But anyways, onto the film. The film is another in those long, overdone, and cheesy Christmas movies. Where you have a pimple faced kid who does not believe in Santa, and is persistent in his views on this. By the end, he's got a tear in his eyes, on Santa's lap, and all is well. We seen it done before, and it has it's heart in the right place, but this film is trying desperately to be named among other Christmas classics and it just not up for the challenge. Starting with, as I stated, the horrible, horrible looking creatures or goblins that are suppose to be special effects as characters. The kid in this film has no name. Come to think of it, not many people in this film do have names. Or back-stories, or any kind of depth or complexity to them. But it's a children's film, people are not going to see this film to see a Sean Penn like character study. I can forgive that, if you at least give us names of any kind. No names are given, at least none that are made aware to the viewer. I was told there is a book about this as well, and they have names in the book. But in the movie, I hear or see no names. Tom Hanks with a sleazy mustache and creepy voice shows up to pick up this non believing kid. Also, on this train is tons of other kids. You know, when I was 9 or 10, if Tom Hanks shows up at my house in that attire, I'm not hopping on that train. Unless, he's Forest Gump, then I might. Don't the parents have any knowledge of this? This is basically kids being abducted onto a train with a strange older man. Again, it's a children's film, but come on! The film then turns from "The Polar Express" into the "The Bi-Polar Express", as we get shaken upside down as this train goes all over, encounters road bumps, runs around, makes a lot of noise, but not a lot of sense. The frantic, over the top, and non stop roller coaster this film turned into was not fun. I felt seasick afterward. The film never slowed down to give us names, or a reason to care enough to go on this adventure with any of them. This film needed to take it's medication and relax. Film theory and logic is simple. Give us a character to care about and a journey to go on with him, and all is well. Why do we want to spend time with these people on the train when number 1, we don't know who they are and number 2, they look as creepy as Chucky? I have been hearing a lot about this film and I have to tell you, I didn't see any appeal. I'm sure the book is good, but turn this into a half hour special on Christmas weekend, and leave it at that. There's no need to make this into a feature film. Tony Farinella email this review to a friend
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