Resident Evil: Apocalypse Review by Thom (0.5 Stars)

Resident Evil: Apocalypse Review by Thom (0.5 Stars) | MatchFlick

Steal of the Day

Xbox 360 Play & Charge Kit (White)
~~$19.99~~
$16.98
The Steal of the Day is offered by MatchFlick's DVD partner, FamilyVideo.com.

[help]

[more]

MatchFlick Member Reviews


	3 reviews review this movie read all reviews

Movie Details

All Movie Info

Starring:
Milla Jovovich, Eric Mabius, Oded Fehr, Sienna Guillory, Jared Harris

Directed By:
Alexander Witt

Written By:
Paul W S Anderson

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

email this review to a friend

Movie Review by Thom
August 29th, 2007

Revoke This Evil's Residency

Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse is reminiscent of some of the all time great porn movies; it's resplendent with horrible acting, nonexistent character development, poorly thought out story, and big bang money shots with half-naked women at the center that serves little more purpose than masturbation material for video game devotees, geeks, and others that can't get laid.

The critics have been more than generous with this turd.

In a loose continuation from the original Resident Evil, a movie that didn't suck, Alice, played with less depth than clothes by Milla Jovovich, wakes up to a city full of zombies and other freaks of 'evil' science sealed off by the Big Bad Evil Corporation, Umbrella. There's also some other chick, Jill Valentine played by Sienna Guillory, that likes to fight slimy evil things - in a halter-top no less - a cast of nameless, faceless fodder that's trying to get out of the city, and a scientist, Jared Harris (who deserves some sort of award for giving a good performance amidst this poo-poo), that wants to help them to help himself.

As you can imagine, there's a bevy of big booms, high-flying neck snappings, and much expended ammunition in the name of pointless action for action's sake. If you dig that sort of detritus then, step right up, Evil has it in spades.

Sadly, the only tension for me was whether or not I was going to watch the whole movie or flee for the exit to douse with petrol and ignite myself. This kind of evil should have its residency revoked.

It's like the Diet Coke of evil - that somebody jizzed in.

email this review to a friend

Comment on this Review:

Sorry, you must be a member to add comments to reviews.

Join or Login.

	Zara Aug 29, 2007 10:10 AM
My sister is in love with Milla. I've watched this multiple times with her and it still hasn't made a dent on me. Fluff is putting it lightly in describing it.

	Thom Aug 31, 2007 5:03 AM
I scraped some dogsht off my shoe today that had more acting ability than Milla Jovovich. In fact, "man steps in dogsht and scrapes it on the curb" would be a better movie than this crap-trap.

Subscribe to MatchFlick Movie Reviews through RSS