I, Robot (2004)
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|Movie Review by BillyBob |
March 20th, 2008
I (ROBOT) THINK, THEREFORE I AM
Favorite Movie Quote: "You're lucky I can't breath, otherwise I'd walk all up and down your black ass!"
First off, I don't think you movie-loving folks really wanna read yet another review praising I, ROBOT for all its colossal, far-out, groovy, and super-spiffy special-effects, do you? Well, maybe you do. And, believe me, I could probably fill about half a page just babbling on and on about how awesome the effects are, and everything. But it ain't gonna happen. Sorry, no way. I've decided to give I, ROBOT the 'BillyBob' treatment.
Hey! I don't wanna hear any groans of exasperation out there from anyone. Yeah. You better 'Hush-up', now, and read! (chuckle)
I promise that I won't pulverize I, ROBOT, or demolish it into a heap of useless scrap metal. I won't. 'Cause I honestly did enjoy this flick. There are just a few annoying, little details that I wanna point out to you for my own satisfaction. So, if you can, bear with me.
YOU THINK, THEREFORE YOU ARE (A ROBOT) (!?)
You know, if I were to accept any educational tidbits about the USA, from Hollywood movies, as fact, I would be under the impression that there were really only 4 cities that actually existed in the entire country. It's true. These 4 cities would be (in order of movie-location preference) : NEW YORK CITY (#1), LOS ANGELES (#2), WASHINGTON (#3), and, when Hollywood is trying to be imaginative and exotic, CHICAGO (a dismal #4). It seems to me that these 4 are continually being used, at least, 80% of the time. And, so, with I, ROBOT it's been given the exotic location of CHICAGO. Wow!
WARNING : I'm now gonna take a fragile step onto some potentially dangerous ground.
I'm gonna make a couple of comments here about Del Spooner. Yeah, that's the Will Smith character, who's maybe better known, by certain other characters, in I, ROBOT as 'The Dumbest Dumb-Person'. (Do you think he had that one coming?)
OK. The year is 2035, right!? And Spooner is so out-of-date that he's listening to music that is over 60 years old. The song 'Superstition' by Stevie Wonder came out in 1972. Grooving to that tune in 2035 would be the same as if I were to groove to music from the 1940's. And I don't know anyone in their right mind who would do that.
Also, the out-of-fashion Spooner is wearing vintage footwear. Those ALL-STARS (a thing of beauty) that he put on his big feet were 30 years old. I couldn't imagine that neither the rubber, nor the canvas would hold up for that long.
You know, I think I'm being a total nit-picker here. Oh, well.
But, I'm not being so when I beef about Spooner wearing that annoying flapper-hat of his to bed. Now, that is just plain dumb. What kind of a grown-up man wears a frickin' hat to bed? Well, I guess the kind who listens to 60 year old music, wears 30 year old shoes on his feet, and showers in the tub without drawing the shower curtain so he can give us all the thrill of our life by letting us take a real good look at his big, black ass. Yeah, that's the kind of dumbest dumb-person that I'm talking about.
Ready for some more? OK. You asked for it.
The shirtless (for our benefit?) Spooner lifts weights with his 'robotic' arm. For what reason?? Since when does weight-lifting produce muscle-development in a bionic arm? Well, I guess if Spooner keeps at it long enough something's bound to develop. Like, maybe friction-corrosion!?
And, where do you suppose Spooner buys his paint from to do touch up jobs on his robotic arm? Benjamin Moore!? And, what is the color-code that Spooner quotes to the paint-clerk so that his flesh-tone is always the right shade of brown? I would think that spraying paint onto the exposed circuitry like Spooner did would cause it all to clog up. But, hey, what do I know.
Well, enough of Spooner.
But, how about this?.....I am really baffled as to why the scientist who built the unique Sonny-Robot would go through such an elaborate production of staging his own death, and the rest of it, just to get Spooner on the case so he could follow the trail of crumbs and uncover the reason behind why things with the robots just weren't right. Yes, I realize that the scientist was being watched by V.I.K.I., but certainly there must have been some way for him and Spooner to meet in secrecy. His death makes no sense to me, other than it had to be that way for the sake of I, ROBOT's plot.
And, besides all that......I sure am relieved that there was no 'romance' happening in I, ROBOT. It's kinda refreshing to watch a movie without all that usual nonsense. Although, if time allowed, in I, ROBOT I could see something was definitely cooking up somewhere. Yeah, I think that Sonny, the Robot, was actually developing a crush on Spooner, don't you!? Now, wouldn't those 2 make a cute couple. Nudge. Nudge. Wink. Wink.
YOU THINK, THEREFORE YOU ARE (A ROBOT).
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Mar 20, 2008 2:28 AM
|Your movie reviews always have such a comic-edge to them...Keep it up!|
Mar 20, 2008 8:41 PM
|"What kind of a grown-up man wears a frickin' hat to bed? Well, I guess the kind who listens to 60 year old music, wears 30 year old shoes on his feet, and showers in the tub without drawing the shower curtain"..... that was my favorite part.|
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