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THE NIGHT YESTERDAY GOT SHOVED OVER TILL TOMORROW Favorite Movie Quote: "I didn't do anything!" So, 'Does he, or, Doesn't he?'.....That is the question. In the good old days, 'To be, or, Not to be'......That was the question. (as goofy as it was) But, now I wanna know 'Does he, or, Doesn't he?', meaning, Does Director, Roland Emmerich, love New York City, or does he loath it? If my math is correct up to this point Emmerich has now trashed NYC 3 friggin' times. That's a lot of trashing of one city, if you ask me. I'm surprised that by now there's actually anything left of NYC to trash. So, let me re-cap this triple-trashing of NYC in a little more detail. First NYC Trashing - Independence Day - Emmerich specially arranges for some mega-slimy Alien-Goons to come down from Uranus to blast NYC to smithereens. (They do it real good, too, if I do say so myself) Well, at least I think these Alien-Goons were from Uranus. I mean, by just one look at them I knew they had to come from some-one's Anus. So, I guess it might as well be Ur's. Second NYC Trashing - Godzilla - Emmerich invites, with open arms (practically), a gargantuan, mutated-hybrid lizard, that's just oozing with radiation from exposure to nuclear-bomb testing in the South Pacific. Godzilla, along with plenty of impressive help from the US Military, kicks NYC's ass (big time) like it's never been kicked before. The toppling of the Chrysler Building was a true high-light of destruction, thanks, not to Godzilla, but the friggin' US Military. (I feel safer already) I actually think that the Military did do more damage to The-City-That-Never-Sleeps, than Godzilla did. Third NYC Trashing - The Day After Tomorrow - Since there was pretty much no one else left around to call on for a decent NYC trashing by now, Emmerich e-mails an urgent S.O.S to good, old Mother Nature. Emmerich cleverly tricks a usually sober Mother Nature into drinking an entire 24 of beer, then, when her bladder is about bursting, he gets her to take the biggest whiz she's ever taken right on top of The Big Apple. Very effective. But since everyone knows that it's not nice to fool Mother Nature, especially an intoxicated one, she commands her whiz, which is now flooding the streets, to instantaneously freeze upon exposure to the open air. Little did Mother Nature know that this otherwise devastating special-effect would put Emmerich into NYC destruct-o heaven. With dollar signs lighting up like lightning bolts in his eyes, Emmerich, literally, got more than he bargained for and his virtually pointless and plotless movie was now, at least, something 'pretty' to look at. He'd just have to worry about all that irksome plot-stuff later. A dire message of global-warming due to excessive fossil-fuel burning would be mighty effective movie-fodder. Anyway...Thank you, Mother Nature. Thank you, Godzilla. Thank you, you Uranus Aliens. And, yeah, yeah, Thank you, you bungling US Military, too. Emmerich couldn't have done any of it without the likes of you. So, what I wanna get back to is my original 2 cent 'Question' - Does he, or, Doesn't he? I'd say that Emmerich is having a serious love/hate relationship with NYC. He truly loves it. But he also loves to destroy it. He loves to see it lay totally wasted. And, like 'God' he loves to have the power to build it all back up again, so it can be trashed again, and again, and again. Wheee! What a blast all this make-believe destruction can be! The bigger the disaster the more entertaining it gets. That's kinda screwy, don't you think? So, as I asked before (Ho-Hum) - Does he, or, Doesn't he!!?? Well, I guess only Emmerich's 'hair-dresser' knows for sure.......Oh, Really!!?? And who cares what some frickin' hairdresser knows, anyways! Ooops!! Hee-Hee! That one sorta slipped out by accident. It did. I mean, hairdressers are totally essential to the balance of modern-day life and the environment, too. They are. And, say, would you just look at the great bob that one of 'em did on Godzilla's hair!! Zowie!! If there is a 'next time' (hope not) I wonder how Emmerich will choose to entertain us with Round #4 of a NYC trashing. email this review to a friend
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Mar 1, 2008 8:01 PM