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MatchFlick Member Reviews
House of 1000 Corpses
6 reviews

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Movie Details

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Directed By
Rob Zombie

Cast:
Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Karen Black, Erin Daniels, Jennifer Jostyn, Tom Towles, Dennis Fimple, Harrison Young, Sheri Moon Zombie, Robert Allen Mukes, Walt Goggins, Rainn Wilson, Chris Hardwick, William Bassett, Matthew McGrory, Sheri Moon, Walt Goggins, Robert Allen Mukes

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House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
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Movie Review by BillyBob
March 22nd, 2009

ONE ZOMBIE + 1000 CORPSES = 1001 DEAD-HEADS

After forcing myself to sit all the way through this ugly, hateful flick, I now know why that little momma's boy, ROBERT KUMMINGS(sic), changed his name to ROB ZOMBIE.

How fitting it is that such a talentless, little suckhole as KUMMINGS would have come up with such a demented last name like ZOMBIE to represent himself - 'Cause, let's face it, only a slimy, blood-sucking creature as brain-dead as a low-life 'Zombie' would have ever produced such an utterly putrid piece of garbage as HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES in the first place. So, that makes 'ZOMBIE' an appropriate last name for little BOBBIE, indeed.

You know, I'm actually surprised that KUMMINGS/ZOMBIE used such a high figure as 1000 in reference to the total corpse-count in his dumb movie-title. If this flick is any indication of little ROBBIE ZOMBIE's juvenile mentality and limited skills as a Director, then I would have never believed, even for a minute, that this big phony could've actually counted all the way up to 1000, at all.

With its utter lack of originality, HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES is so easy to discard into the trash heap as just another blatant Rip-Off of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. There's no doubt about that. Yeah. It's THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE without the chainsaw. And without the chainsaw this flick has no balls. And, without any balls, this flick and its Director are immediately reduced to the suitable rank of a phony and a fake, all in one, wimpy, little 'ROB ZOMBIE' package.

By the way - Have you ever noticed that the name ROB is the word 'BORE' spelled backwards just by adding an 'E' to the end of it? Oh - WOW!. Isn't that the freakiest thing? And, believe me, with the way I feel about things after watching this reeking, rotten flick, the word 'BORE' just about sums up the predictable ROB ZOMBIE and his stupid, little horror movie, all in one scum-encrusted nutshell.

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