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All Movie Info
Directed By
Barry Skolnick
Written By:
Tracy Keenan Wynn, Charlie Fletcher, Chris Baker, Andrew Day
Cast:
Vinnie Jones, David Kelly, David Hemmings, Ralph Brown, Robbie Gee, Vas Blackwood, Geoff Bell, John Forgeham, Sally Phillips, Danny Dyer, Jason Flemyng, Jason Statham, Stephen Walters, Jake Abraham, Jamie Sives, Omid Djalili, Elwin 'Chopper' David, Adam Fogerty, J.J. Connolly, Stephen Bent, Marc Alexander, Andy Skinner, Martin Wimbush, David Reid, David Cropman, Tim Perrin, Paul Mari, Nicholas Moss, Andrew Grainger, Jeff Innocent, Joseph Rye, Rocky Marshall, Perry Digweed, Charlie Hartfield, Nevin Saroya, Wally Downes, Peter Downes, Paul Fishenden, Brian Gayle, Danny Hibert, Mark Lovell, Marc Egan, Ben Wee
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Mean Machine (2001)
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Movie Review by Lisa
March 29th, 2007
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The longest yard but we got different shaped balls
I never cared much for the film "The Longest Yard" probably because I'm no fan of what you Americans call football, although Burt was quite hot back in the day.
However when they made "Mean Machine" which is basically "The longest yard" but with real football, I was all over it like a fat kid on a candy bar. To make this already tempting movie all the more tempting they cast real life ex-football bad boy Vinnie Jones (yes Vinnie was a footy player back in the day and lead Wimbledon to beat Liverpool 1-0 in the 1988 FA Cup...the bastard) as Danny Meehan the disgraced English football player.
Danny Meehan committed the worst crime an Englishman could commit, he fixed a world cup game against Scotland and was thus disowned by the English public (and rightly so), he resorted to alcohol and managed to get himself thrown into jail after a drunken brawl with the pigs (....ooops meant the police). Danny is talked into putting together a cons football team to play against the screws ....only catch is the Gov'ner wants Meehan to fix the game so that the cons loose and he can make some cash to pay back the bookies.
Ok so it looks Barry Skolnick has hijacked half the cast of Lock, Stock, and 2 Smoking barrels, but hey it worked for Guy Ritchie. I have never thought of Vinnie Jones as an actor but he was good in this role, and I did love Jason Statham as Monk the psycho Scot, although this movie did send him of in the action hero direction.
So why watch this movie......well because the original "Longest Yard Movie" is now very dated and the newest incarnation is utter sh*te, Sandler and Rock suck not to mention Nelly ..damn.....Anyway it took the Brits to save the day "Mean Machine" is greatly superior to the "Longest Yard's".
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 | Zara
Mar 29, 2007 12:21 PM
also wrote a review of Mean Machine 
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I LOVE this flick. I stumbled upon it one night on cable and once I'd gotten about half way through it realized that it was sort of similar to THE LONGEST YARD. I didn't really think that it had been based completely on it because I felt it was different enough to stand on its own.
Plus, this is the BEST that Statham has been. Gotta love a psycho killer. |
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