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Directed By
Victor Salva
Written By:
Victor Salva
Cast:
Gina Philips, Justin Long, Jonathan Breck, Patricia Belcher, Eileen Brennan, Brandon Smith, Jeffrey William Evans, Patrick Cherry, Tom Tarantini, William Haze, Victor Salva, Chris Shepardson, Peggy Sheffield, Avis-Marie Barnes, Steve Raulerson, Chris Shepardson, Tim Phoenix, Clint Wilder, Jon Beshara, Kim Kahana
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Jeepers Creepers (2001)
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Movie Review by Joe
June 17th, 2006
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And now, for your reading pleasure, I give you what might possibly be THE worst horror movie since 2000 (even worse than House of Wax, Hostel, etc.). And that movie is Jeepers Creepers!
Brother and sister college students Trish (Gina Philips) and Darry (Justin Long) are driving home for Spring Break down one of the most deserted roads I have ever seen. Suddenly there's a truck behind them driving wildly, and it finally passes them. Later on, they see a man getting out of the truck at an old deserted church and throw what looks like a body down a sewer pipe. Of course, the man sees them and tries to run them off the road, then drives off.
So what do any intellectual, intelligent, sane-minded person do? That's right, they decide to go back to the church and see what the man threw in the sewer!
And of course, once they get there, the man has to get into the sewer pipe to see if he sees anything, and what happens next? That's right, Oprah and Gayle King crash their wedding...I mean, he falls in.
And what does he see while in this basement? Oh, you're smart ones if you said he saw lollipops and gingerbread men as far as the eye can see! Or bodies, if you want to get technical.
So he gets out (somehow) and they drive to a diner to get help, but everyone looks at them like Britney Spears just walked into the restaurant (yes, with suspicious glances and terrified looks). Then they get a mysterious call from an old woman who tells them their whole life story, of course, a psychic.
So they leave with the police and go back to the church, but the church is on fire and some creature comes and scares the living you-know-what out of the teenagers. So much so that they don't even drive away...they just keep staring at the thing.
Finally they get past their fear and drive off, only to stop at a small, out of the way house so they could use their phone! Very smart individuals, these people are!
Of course you know it doesn't bode well for them. Eventually, after battling the demon thingy, they make it to the police station where, lo and behold, the psychic arrives! What ensues next is one of the most hilarious, pointless stories in a horror movie ever.
"On every 23rd spring for 23 days he gets to roam and eat (what does he eat? McDonald's? I don't think so)." We never know what this thing is...a demon, a monster, Barbara Streisand? No one knows.
So bad times for all concerned, especially those watching the movie.
Justin Long should never, ever star in another scary movie. When he looks terrified, his face is so contorted that it made me laugh. He's a good Jim Carrey, not a horror movie star.
Trish: You know the part in horror movies when somebody does something really stupid, and everybody hates him for it? This is it.
From boxofficemojo.com:
Jeepers Creepers
United Artists
Release Date: August 31, 2001
1 hr 30 min
Domestic Gross: $37,904,175
Worldwide Gross: $59,217,789
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 | Justin
Jun 17, 2006 5:07 PM
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| Joe, I couldn't agree more! Everyone involved with this film should be ashamed of themselves. It is probably the worst horror flick that ever made it to a theater, but it is a great comedy. Very funny review. Nice job. |
 | Rodney
Jun 17, 2006 5:44 PM
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| I friggin hate that movie. |
 | AJ
Jun 19, 2006 1:37 AM
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Ah, yes, terrible film.
And my money is TOTALLY on Barbra Streisand. |
 | Jessica
Jan 31, 2007 1:53 PM
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| The start of the movie looks very promising ... as the movie progressed it turned out to be garbage!!! |
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