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Directed By
Baz Luhrmann
Cast:
Leonardo DiCaprio, Claire Danes, John Leguizamo, Paul Sorvino, Brian Dennehy, Diane Venora, Pete Postlethwaite, Paul Rudd, Harold Perrineau, Jesse Bradford, Miriam Margolyes, Vondie Curtis-Hall, Christina Pickles, M. Emmet Walsh
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William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet (1996)
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HEY! WHO LET THAT DOG OUT OF ITS KENNEL?
Arf! Arf!
Let's face facts - It only takes just 2 little words to explain the real reason behind this flick's utter failure. And, those 2 words are - CLAIRE DANES.
Without the presence of DANES, as Juliet, I believe that this flick could have actually had the potential to be better than it was. (Not much better, mind you. But, at least, better than it was)
It became so painfully obvious (right from the very first glance) that not only was CLAIRE DANES a total 'no-talent' (as an actress), but she was also, without any question, the absolute, most pathetically homely, dog-of-a-Juliet, ever, in all of the entire History of the Movies, ever. I kid you not.
Arf! Arf!
And, man, was this girl a dumb doggie - Indescribably so.
I couldn't believe that DANES had actually been cast for the role of Juliet.
Like, Hey! - Juliet is supposed to be a 'Dream Come True', not 'A Nightmare On Elm Street'. I mean, there was just no way imaginable that any Romeo (in his right mind) would ever, in 10 lifetimes, fall for the likes of this mutt-faced, scrag, mongrel, b-i-t-c-h. No frickin' way.
Bow-Wow!
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