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Slackers are getting tired Rene (Shannen Doherty): You took me where you went shopping, you jerk! You think I care what store in that sh*tpit dirt mall has the latest godzilla bootlegs? Do you call eating pizza in the same dive pizzeria every night eating out? Do I give a sh*t what two comic labels are crossing over characters, Selling two editions of the book in varied-ink chromium covers? I'm a girl, damn it! I wanna do girly things! As slacker movies go, this was disappointing. It just doesn't seem funny to me seeing losers like Jeremy London and Jason Lee whining because they lost their girlfriends. I just can't imagine Claire Forlani with either of these two slackers anyway. Rene: I've always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you told me to do a striptease to the theme of "Mighty Mouse", I said okay. On prom night at the hotel when you told me to sleep under the bed in case your mother burst in, I did it. And even during my grandmother's funeral when you told my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let that slide. Living a life of video games and comic books does not prepare you to be a winner, and the formula that Kevin Smith (writer and director) has developed was cute in Clerks, but is old now. Throw in Jay and Silent Bob, the Force, potty humor, and vicious threats from Ben Affleck, and you reach a new low. Well, maybe Jersey Girl was lower. Jay (Jason Mewes): sh*thead here watched Empire and Jedi last week and ever since then, he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick. The crazy f*ck thinks he can levitate sh*t with his thoughts. This one just doesn't do it. Even with Priscilla Barnes and her three nipples. Skintastic Moment: Joey Lauren Adams bares her juicy breasts in a dressing room. email this review to a friend
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Aug 24, 2007 8:44 AM