Batman Returns Review by Thom (0.5 Stars)

Batman Returns Review by Thom (0.5 Stars) | MatchFlick

Steal of the Day

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Movie Details

All Movie Info

Directed By
Tim Burton

Written By:
Daniel Waters

Cast:
Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Michael Gough, Michael Murphy, Cristi Conaway, Pat Hingle, Vincent Schiavelli, Jan Hooks, Paul Reubens, Andrew Bryniarski

Batman Returns (1992)

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Movie Review by Thom
July 16th, 2008

I Wish He Had Stayed Away

When people talk about how Batman and Robin killed the franchise (and there's no doubt that Batman and Robin is an abomination of the highest caliber) I'm always a little confused. I mean, I get that Batman and Robin was the least financially successful of the four Bat-flicks that get grouped together, but Batman Returns was a fairly close second in that category, neither having the comercial success of Batman or Batman Forever. That I think Batman Returns is the worst of the four there can be no doubt.

Batman (Michael Keaton) is the only real consistency from the first film; despite winning an academy award for best art direction, Anton Furst and set decorator Peter Young were not brought back, as Burton wanted a whole new look. Joining Keaton were the villains about which the entire film revolves; a slobby fish-munching Penguin (Danny Devito), spank-bank candidate Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer), and Max Shreck (the so often over-touted Christopher Walken). In the most lame of plots executed in the most juvenile of ways, Shreck backs Penguin in his bid to become Mayor of a Gotham now strangely reminiscent of Candy Land.

While the Joker from the first Batman makes the viewing experience unenjoyable, it's a movie that I can sit through; at the very least, I liked many of the visuals from the first film and there are moments when it doesn't feel or look like a Burton flick. Unfortunately for me, Batman Returns shelved anything that I liked from its predecessor and replaced the non-scary Joker with three equally uneffective villains.

I'm wasn't a really big fan of Devito to start with, but his Penguin was positively one of the single lamest villains that has ever left his skidmarks on the silver screen, what with his drooling fish-munching, rubber-duckie transportation, and sewer-dwelling giant penguins - I couldn't make a worse villain if I set out to.

Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman, though the source of many a masturbatory fantasy I'm sure, does nothing for me as the self-licking, wet-leather clad secretary with a grudge, and Christopher Walken, who has survived most of his career on a schtick akin to Bill Shatner, is yet another completely forgettable cog in this abominable machine.

What about Batman? I don't know; he really wasn't in the movie that much.

Neither was I.

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