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The Most Ridiculous Sequels of All Time
by Tim Josephs

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For the most part, I really despise sequels. If you were smart/lucky enough to have created a good film, just end it. Don't push your luck with another one. But, because there have been some good sequels - TERMINATOR 2, for example - I think doing a second part is acceptable. However, because the third film is usually crap - TERMINATOR 3, for example - that should be it.

Here are some movies that had no business having a sequel, as their originals didn't lend themselves to another part whatsoever. I'm not including horror films because we all know that even if the killer has been blown to bits, he will inevitably return.

HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK

Okay, so the first one (which I hated) is about a kid left home by negligent parents who, through a series of booby traps, defends his
home against bumbling crooks. Fair enough. But the second one? Now the same kid is alone in New York with the same crooks after him. Why, John Hughes, why?

WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S II

Perhaps I shouldn't be including a movie where one of the main characters in the first one is a corpse. But in the sequel, not only is Bernie still goofing around (and by the way, shouldn't he either be stinking or developing rigor mortis by now?), he gets a voodoo curse put on him, and now he can dance!

DIE HARD 2

The original is one of the best action movies of all time, and the sequel is probably just as good. However, the fact that John McClane finds himself in almost the exact same position a year later is absurd (and he even comments on that fact at one point).

CITY SLICKERS II: THE SEARCH
FOR CURLY'S GOLD


The first film was good and had a nice mix of humor and heart. And it ends with Mitch coming home having found his smile (and a cow). So what is this business with Curly possibly leaving a treasure somewhere and Mitch - along with Jon Lovitz for some reason - going to look for it?

RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II

Okay, so a guy comes home from Vietnam completely screwed up from the horrors of battle, so much so that he basically violently takes over a town (not that they didn't deserve it). So, in the sequel, not only does the government want to use this maniac, he agrees to go back to Vietnam? Even the title is ridiculous.

BILL & TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY

The first one had a pretty ridiculous plot, of course, but it worked. It was fun and didn't take itself
seriously. The story of the second ones comes out of nowhere. Now there are aliens and robotic Bill and Ted?

SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL

Okay, making another movie with the hero cop doesn't seem that far fetched. However, making a sequel without the hero cop, starring the character who inadvertently got swept up in the action in the first one is absurd.

THE HANGOVER PART II

Because of the money this one made, a sequel was inevitable. But couldn't they have come up with something better than basically having similar wacky things happening to these guys again? And, believe it or not, they're making another one of these.


I'm sure there are others, but these are the ones that stood out the most for me. And it probably won't be long before some new equally ridiculous sequels are created.

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Mike Thomas
Aug 14, 2012 10:20 PM
[X] delete
BLUES BROTHERS 2000. God-awful script, God-awful acting. The ONLY reason to watch this movie is The Battle of the Bands scene at the end, and James Brown doing "Please, Please" for the last time on this mortal coil.

Ans despite popular request, "BILL and TED 3" is in the works.

Good column! I always like your anthologies.
Tim
Aug 17, 2012 12:24 PM
[X] delete
I can comment again! Yes, how could I forget the abomination that is Blues Brothers 2000?

They're really doing another Bill and Ted? Is Keanu broke?



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Movie Musings
Every other Tuesday

Thoughts, observations, conjectures, complaints about movies and mostly how they relate to me personally. If you're looking for something a little broader, try Ebert.


Other Columns
Other columns by Tim Josephs:

So Long 2013, and MatchFlickers!

The Season for Peace, Presents, & Puncture Wounds

Women are Once Again Kicking Ass

Chewing the Scenery

The Greatest President We Never Had

All Columns


Tim Josephs
Born to write (literally much to the displeasure of his mother, he emerged with a pencil clutched in one tiny fist), Tim spends most of his days crafting epic monosyllabic poems, new comical titles to his favorite Beatles' songs (Hey, Dude), and angry letters to local businesses that have wronged him in some way. He's really an okay guy once you get to know him.


Contact
If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Tim Josephs by clicking here.


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