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The End is Coming! Oh Wait, No It's Not
by Tim Josephs

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It's definitely coming next year though, right?

It's definitely coming next year though, right?
So, in cased you missed it, the world was supposed to have ended this past Saturday. Sorry to all you nuts - I mean devoutly religious folk - who didn't get to see the apocalypse. Better luck next time. (For the sake of Kate Hudson's career, I was actually hoping the world would end). Anyway, this got me thinking about the things I'd like to accomplish before my time on this planet is finished. I realize I still have a lot to do, but for relevancy purposes here's my movie-related bucket list (and to sort of steal a line from EASY A, watching THE BUCKET LIST is not on the list).

Go to a drive-in theater

I actually did go to one once when I was little. I believe the movie was THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN and I
Still a few left

Still a few left
remember sitting in the way-back of my parents station wagon in my pajamas and having a great time. Before drive-ins become completely extinct though, it'd be nice to go to one again and snuggle in the backseat with my sweetheart, or even my wife. (Just kidding, honey).

Attend a major film festival

Not Sundance or one that's been corrupted by Hollywood and celebrities but one where I'll be able to see films I wouldn't otherwise get to see, and stuff from up and coming filmmakers.

Watch the classics

I've never seen GONE WITH THE WIND, CASABLANCA, LAWRENCE OF ARABIA, and several others considered to be some of the best films of all time. I've either never gotten the chance or have just avoided them for
I will see this one day

I will see this one day
some reason.

Be an extra in a major movie

I know the pay is minimal and the hours suck, but it would be nice to one day tell my grandkids as we're watching a movie "See that guy in the green shirt way in the back? That's me." On a related note, when my brother was living in the Pacific Northwest, he was an extra in MR. HOLLAND'S OPUS. As one of the high school students he was on set all day, had to wear a tuxedo and learn how to dance, and then because they changed the ending of the movie, his scene got cut.

Go to a premiere

It doesn't have to be some big blockbuster, but I think it would be nice to dress up and walk down a red carpet while cameras are flashing. If anyone out there would like to invite me to
That could be me!

That could be me!
one, I'll spring for the popcorn.

See a 3D porno

(I hear the Koreans are working on this.)

Attend a costumed movie event

I'm not a big fan of THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW so I don't think I'll be going to any of those screenings. And I'm too old/sane to dress up for the upcoming final Harry Potter movie. I do have a Marty McFly outfit from my day as the famed time traveler and was hoping to go last year to the 25th anniversary BACK TO THE FUTURE screening, but alas they weren't showing it anywhere near me. Maybe I'll make the 30th anniversary.

Okay, so those are all things I think I could probably achieve if I set my mind to them. I have, what, about a year and a half until the real end of the world, right?

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May 24, 2011 1:45 PM
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Apparently the snake-oil salesman has apologized and recalculated the end for October 21st 2011. Whew!! I thought I msised it.
May 24, 2011 3:16 PM
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Yeah, and then when that date comes and goes, there's always Dec. 21, 2012, and after that one there will be another one, and so on.

May 24, 2011 4:34 PM
[X] delete
Groupon is offering 50% off the October 21st Rapture excursion. I'm not sure about the mode of travel. Cheers!

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Movie Musings
Every other Tuesday

Thoughts, observations, conjectures, complaints about movies and mostly how they relate to me personally. If you're looking for something a little broader, try Ebert.

Other Columns
Other columns by Tim Josephs:

So Long 2013, and MatchFlickers!

The Season for Peace, Presents, & Puncture Wounds

Women are Once Again Kicking Ass

Chewing the Scenery

The Greatest President We Never Had

All Columns

Tim Josephs
Born to write (literally much to the displeasure of his mother, he emerged with a pencil clutched in one tiny fist), Tim spends most of his days crafting epic monosyllabic poems, new comical titles to his favorite Beatles' songs (Hey, Dude), and angry letters to local businesses that have wronged him in some way. He's really an okay guy once you get to know him.

If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Tim Josephs by clicking here.

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