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Box-Office Spring Is Here!
by Christopher Stone

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Liam: On-screen and off: he's the one that she wants!

Liam: On-screen and off: he's the one that she wants!
The Oscars have come and gone. So, for the most part, has the El Nino winter.

Spring is here! Why doesn't my heart go dancing? Spring is here! Why isn't the waltz entrancing?
No desire, no ambition leads me,
Maybe it's because nobody needs me?

Whether or not you feel the malaise reflected in the lyrics of this Rodgers & Hart ditty from the Great American Songbook, and even if your heart's not available for dancing, we've got some hot box-office picks for Match-Flicking this season that may set your heart to hoofing, with, or without, the stars!.

To Everything, (Turn, Turn, Turn). There is a season, (Turn, Turn, Turn), and a chick flick for every season. Spring's "must-see" chick flick is THE LAST SONG (March 31): This movie will own the holiday weekend!

She was your Match-Flick Mama through Blue Aliens, Mad Hatters and Flying Dragons. This weekend, it's your turn to be her Match-Flick Man. Boys, don't fight it. You'll never win. THE LAST SONG is "must-see" for your main squeeze.

Based on a
The Kraken Was first released on-screen in 1981!

The Kraken Was first released on-screen in 1981!
forthcoming novel by Nicholas Sparks he of A WALK TO REMEMBER and THE NOTEBOOK fame. THE LAST SONG is sung in a small Southern beach town where an estranged dad (Greg Kinnear) is desperately trying to reconnect with his teenaged daughter (Miley Cyrus), who happens to like New York. But the beach doesn't look so bad after Ronnie Miller (Miley) meets, and falls in love with, Will Blakelee (Liam Hemsworth), a rich, handsome and charming beach volleyball player.

What will make THE LAST SONG Numero Uno at the Easter Weekend Box-Office is the fact that Miley Cyrus's reel boyfriend, Liam Hemsworth, is her real-life boyfriend as well. What's more, Miley claims that her relationship with the Aussie actor has won the Achy-Breaky Blessing of her dad, the once mullet-coiffed Billy Ray Cyrus, as well as that of her mom.

If you can keep your chick away from THE LAST SONG, then you may want to think about applying for a summer job as a pied piper.

CLASH OF THE TITANS (April 2): This is the lavish 3D, CGI remake of the 1981
Don't Ask; don't tell: Carrey loves PHILLIP MORRIS

Don't Ask; don't tell: Carrey loves PHILLIP MORRIS
"camp" classic that starred Lord Laurence Olivier as Zeus, Dame Maggie Smith as Thetis, and once-upon-a-time beefcake boy, Harry Hamlin, as Perseus. Twenty-nine years ago, Lord Olivier and Dame Maggie must have been caught between a rock and a professional hard place to have participated in this tripe. But they did.

The original CLASH OF THE TITANS produced many unwanted laughs and generated Olivier's "camp" classic dictum, "Release the Kraken!" Or, as I like to put it, "Let's get Kraken!"

For this remake, Liam Neeson is Zeus and AVATAR hot boy, Sam Worthington, is Perseus. Gratefully, mercifully, no lords or ladies suffered indignities in the remaking of this mythical fantasy.

The story is ridiculous and simple, or should I say, simply ridiculous? Perseus volunteers to defeat Hades (Ralph Fiennes) before Hades can seize power from Zeus and release hell on earth. The "camp" elements remain, as does the classic line, "Release the Kraken!" Girls, this is one you'll need to suffer through with your guy. After all,
Yes, Box-Office Spring is here!

Yes, Box-Office Spring is here!
he took you to see THE LAST SONG.

I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS (April 30): Opening the Friday before Box-Office Summer launches, Jim Carrey swings both ways, and then some, in this comedy based upon a book by Houston-based crime journalist Steve McVicker.

Here's how it goes down. Carrey as Steven Russell is a married with children police officer and church organist, whose illegal antics put him behind bars in Texas. Incarcerated, he falls madly in love with his same gender cellmate, Phillip Morris, played by a bleached blond Ewan McGregor. When PHILLIP MORRIS is released from jail, Russell, wanting to be with him, escapes from Texas prisons four times. Match-Flickers who've seen PHILLIP MORRIS in advance previews call it "hilarious" spring comedy at its "Don't ask, don't tell!" best.

Yes, dear Match-Flickers, spring is here. It's never been the box-office's most stellar season, but, it's not its longest, either. Whatever your cup of box-office tea this spring, enjoy. IRON MAN 2, and Box-Office Summer, are right around the corner.

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The Business of Show
Every other Friday

Does advertising, public taste, or overindulged stars determine a movie's box office fate? Christoper Stone explores what's going on behind the box office.

Other Columns
Other columns by Christopher Stone:

The Cautionary Box-Office

Box-Office Holiday Season Heads Up. Part Two

Box-Office Holiday Season Heads Up, Part 1

Quality Is Independent

Oh, the Horror!

All Columns

Christopher Stone
Christopher Stone is the author of the international best seller Re-Creating Your Self. With Mary Sheldon, he co-authored three highly successful hardcover books of guided meditations.

He is a member of the Writers Guild of America, West.

If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Christopher Stone by clicking here.

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