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Mutants On Parade 11/12/09
by Lance Norris

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About a year ago the Commonwealth of Massachusetts was all a-thither because a couple of big time Hollywood God-botherers were going to build a huge movie studio in Plymouth. Everyone bent over backwards for them, except me. The lessons of THE MUSIC MAN were not lost on me. For you younger kids, think; the lessons of that Simpson's episode where Springfield gets a monorail.

This week, shock of all shocks, the deal fell through and the developers never got the $550 million dollar loan they were looking for. So, no movie studio in Plymouth. Which is just as well. God botherers make crappy movies. Take, for example, HENRY POOLE IS HERE.

HENRY POOLE IS HERE. What a stupid move. After watching this I am convinced the wrong Wilson Brother tried to kill himself. Luke Wilson is boring. The movie was boring. Even the music was boring, which is odd because Mark Pellington, the director, got his start doing U2 and Pearl Jam videos.

The only bright spot in the film was Radha Mitchell, who is pretty hot if you can get over that weird horn thing growing off the bridge of her nose.

Wilson's character is about to die and tries to 'go home' as it were, but God has other plans. HENRY POOLE is so trite and obvious that half way through you begin rooting for death over divine intervention.

Avoid HENRY POOLE IS HERE like George Lopez has to start avoiding taking every movie role they put in front of him. You have been warned.

Plymouth Rock Studios, you will not be missed.

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Ask a Bitter Man
Every Thursday

Lance Norris gives us his opinions on the state of film, vents about Hollywood, and generally lets his thoughts fly.

Other Columns
Other columns by Lance Norris:

Later On Croutons

Mutants On Parade 11/5/09

Mutants On Parade 10/29/09

Mutants On Parade 10/21/09

Mutants On Parade 10/15/09

All Columns

Lance Norris
Lance Norris, dubbed "Boston's only straight Film Critic" reviews movies for WZLX in Boston.

He has two books entitled Ask A Bitter Man: The Best of 1984 - 1999 Vol. 1 and I've Seen Better Film On The Teeth of Wolverines. which you can buy here

If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Lance Norris by clicking here.

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