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Mutants On Parade 9/17/09
by Lance Norris

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So, I made a commercial last week with McG of TERMINATOR SALVATION fame and Teddy Bruschi of Super Bowl fame. It was interesting and I'm told, one of the most expensive shoots in advertising history, even more expensive than when they set Michael Jackson's head on fire, but the coolest part of the shoot was hanging out with The Patriot Cheerleaders, just to keep my wife on her toes.

THE FOLLOWING IS BASED ON AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION:

"You have to pick: Letterman or Conan. You can't do both and if you do Jon Stewart you have to wait five days to do Kimmel or Furguson".

"Who's Furguson?"

"The guy from The Drew Carey Show".

"I thought that was Drew Carey".

"No, the other guy. The best thing to do is, Letterman, then Jon Stewart and maybe a Kimmel. I can get you Regis and Kelly but not if you do The View. You can do Ellen if you've done The View, but not if you've done Rachael Ray"

"What if I do Jimmy Fallon's Show?"

"Who would know?"

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Ask a Bitter Man
Every Thursday

Lance Norris gives us his opinions on the state of film, vents about Hollywood, and generally lets his thoughts fly.


Other Columns
Other columns by Lance Norris:

Later On Croutons

Mutants On Parade 11/12/09

Mutants On Parade 11/5/09

Mutants On Parade 10/29/09

Mutants On Parade 10/21/09

All Columns


Lance Norris
Lance Norris, dubbed "Boston's only straight Film Critic" reviews movies for WZLX in Boston.

He has two books entitled Ask A Bitter Man: The Best of 1984 - 1999 Vol. 1 and I've Seen Better Film On The Teeth of Wolverines. which you can buy here


Contact
If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Lance Norris by clicking here.


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