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Mutants On Parade 5/14/09
by Lance Norris

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Still waiting, but we shot a test scene the other day, to see how the lights and location would work out. Things went as well as can be expected. Extras, some crew and even an actor didn't show up (making me step in), but that's what you've got to expect when you shoot something for free. Call me crazy, but I think dark comedy works in low key light.

Ami walks into the bar and
sees Don smoking the cigar.

Could you lose the mouth rocket?

Excuse me?

She points to the No Smoking sign.

Can't you read?

No, sorry. I missed those classes in school because I was too busy fighting Charlie in 'nam.

You were too young to be in Viet Nam.

Ha, too young? You grown up fast when you're in country, Missy. I was in
The Fighting 53rd. An elite corp. of Cub Scouts sent in to play practical jokes on the V.C., breaking down the moral of their troops. We did it all. Short sheeted sleeping bags. Swapped their bamboo punji sticks for rubber ones. Flaming bags of dog poop on Ho Chi Min's door step... But it wasn't all just fun and games. You reach over into your buddy's fox hole and pull back a

Weebalo Hat full of goop that used to be little Tommy McMahon's skull and then you tell me I can't even enjoy a simple cigar in a bar? What happen to the basic freedoms that little Tommy gave his life to protect?


They never gave me a parade, you know?

Hey Laidlaw, put out the burner or you're cut off.

No problem.

He stubs the cigar out.

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Ask a Bitter Man
Every Thursday

Lance Norris gives us his opinions on the state of film, vents about Hollywood, and generally lets his thoughts fly.

Other Columns
Other columns by Lance Norris:

Later On Croutons

Mutants On Parade 11/12/09

Mutants On Parade 11/5/09

Mutants On Parade 10/29/09

Mutants On Parade 10/21/09

All Columns

Lance Norris
Lance Norris, dubbed "Boston's only straight Film Critic" reviews movies for WZLX in Boston.

He has two books entitled Ask A Bitter Man: The Best of 1984 - 1999 Vol. 1 and I've Seen Better Film On The Teeth of Wolverines. which you can buy here

If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Lance Norris by clicking here.

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