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Mutants On Parade 05/0709
by Lance Norris

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And the waiting continues as we hope to find even more funding for my little indie film that could. I'm starting to think the beast is getting out of control, but I have to remind myself that I washed my hands of all 'producer's' duties; so I have to shut up and wait.

Not a good one to be left with idle hands, I knocked off a quick script for a short and entered it in a contest at some web site called Massify. It's kind of a gray area what these Massify people are all about, but if you want to take a look at the pitch for the short, and even rate the pitch, you can see it here:


To keep myself out of trouble and to get geared up for the shoot, I've be watching a lot of movies. Someone suggested that I give TRUE ROMANCE a second look, as, they said, the tone was similar to our film. All I really remembered from TRUE ROMANCE was the 'Eggplant Scene' between Christopher Walken and Dennis Hopper, how hot Patricia Arquette used to be (in a white trash way) and how Brad Pitt almost stole the film without getting off the couch.

After giving it a quick watch all I really took away from it was, yes, the Walken/Hopper scene is much better than the rest of the movie, yes, Patricia Arquette used to be hot, yes, Brad Pitt almost steals the whole movie and most importantly, what's the deal with Tony Scott pouring smoke over all of his sets? I wonder how many of his actors and crew have lung cancer today thanks to his liberal use of smoke cookies?

I've never been a huge Tony Scott fan, but personally I think TRUE ROMANCE might be some of his best work. I'm sure his forthcoming remake of THE WARRIORS will do nothing to change my mind. As far as the movie's tone matching ours; I think not. There is no blood bath in our film and hopefully a lot more laughs.

I think our tone will be more akin to Francis D. Lyon's 1955 flash of brilliance, CULT OF THE COBRA. Now there's a movie. Unfortunately I could only find it on DVD as part of a multi pack with THE MOLE PEOPLE, DR. CYCLOPS, THE LAND UNKNOWN, THE LEECH WOMAN, THE MONOLITH MONSTERS and a bunch of other crap. The only other keeper in the bunch was TARANTULA, and that's only a keeper because Clint Eastwood makes a brief appearance (with his face covered) as the leader of the jet squadron that attacks the spider at the end.

Like I said, I'm no good when I've got too much time on my hands and if this movie doesn't start moving forward soon, I might be taking to the clock tower.


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May 7, 2009 9:30 PM
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How could you possibly say that Brad Pitt stole the show from the couch...... Gary Oldman is in the film on screen for no longer then 3 mins tops and he stole the film...I would like to see a prequel/spin off called True Romance : The Drexl chronicles.
May 7, 2009 11:48 PM
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Absolutely, Gary Oldman was great; but it was a flashing role. Brad Pitt's character was an underwritten throw away and he brought brilliance to it.

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Ask a Bitter Man
Every Thursday

Lance Norris gives us his opinions on the state of film, vents about Hollywood, and generally lets his thoughts fly.

Other Columns
Other columns by Lance Norris:

Later On Croutons

Mutants On Parade 11/12/09

Mutants On Parade 11/5/09

Mutants On Parade 10/29/09

Mutants On Parade 10/21/09

All Columns

Lance Norris
Lance Norris, dubbed "Boston's only straight Film Critic" reviews movies for WZLX in Boston.

He has two books entitled Ask A Bitter Man: The Best of 1984 - 1999 Vol. 1 and I've Seen Better Film On The Teeth of Wolverines. which you can buy here

If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Lance Norris by clicking here.

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