How's that for and introductuction? |
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Greetings super heroes, Stan Lee here ....wait a minute here. This is Alpha Craig coming at you with another Moving Pictures column, not the creator of some of the most famous comic book heroes today (although that may change in time – Contemplating Craig.) With the recent successes of IRON MAN and THE INCREDIBLE HULK, the impending productions of WOLVERINE: ORIGINS, CAPTAIN AMERICA and THOR as well as the rumored ANT MAN and AVENGERS movies one might go into Marvelactic shock (which is commonly remedied by DCetaminophen - Amalgamous Alpha.) My point is that the comic book movies that have been coming out lately have been very "A-typical hero" movies. I submit to you that now is the time for another HOWARD THE DUCK, but good. Okay that is a bad example, TMNT is much more fitting. So, without further ado, I present Boris the Bear!
Now that a hush has settled over the crowd (and by crowd I mean my one or two loyal readers - Conscientious Craig.) allow me to 
Heroes in a half shell? More like like shelled half-heroes. |
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clarify. Boris the Bear is a black and white comic book created by James Dean Smith and was one of the first titles to be published under an up and coming group called Dark Horse Comics in 1986. This was before Hellboy and 300, mind you. Their other stars at the time were Concrete and Usagi Yojimbo (whom Boris the Bear was an indirect pastiche of - Ascertaining Alpha.) As a matter of fact, the anthropomorphic bear (later revealed to be a robot - Clobbering Craig) character Boris the Bear was running parody of many of his "contemporaries" at the time as evident in the title of the first issue "Boris the Bear Slaughters the Teenage Radioactive Black Belt Mutant Ninja Critters in which he dispatches a familiar group of four mutated turtles who appear to know ninjutsu. James Dean Smith pulled no punches going on to take loving shots at characters suspiciously resembling Cerebus the Aardvark, Wile E. Coyote, Gundam, Transformers, The Care Bears and the Smurfs (with the added strangeness of Droopy 
We can rebuild him, we have the technology |
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being the only survivor - Confused Craig.) The comic was cancelled at issue number thirty-four in November of 1991. But then, like the Jean Grey/Phoenix rising from the ashes, James Dean Smith re-launched the comic under Oasis Comics in April of 2007 (and I actually met him at Seattle Comicon shortly after that and shook his hand and got some real nice deals from the man himself at the Oasis booth - Chipper Craig.)
So we have established that Boris leans heavily towards the "comic" end of the comic book spectrum. This means that it would have to come off like KUNG FU PANDA or just look ridiculous. One of the worst things ever is seeing a comic book made into a movie that completely changes the direction of the series and goes against the genre from whence it came. I know a lot of you out there (again, just the two of you - Antipathetic Alpha) will think I have gone quite bat-a-rangy, but I am quite serious. This is one of the few times you will get me to be an advocate for total CGI. Boris the Bear is perfect for the 
Even the Dark Knight likes Boris |
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treatment. And to keep going with the idea, make the whole thing a CGI movie. There is nothing worse than a human cast of characters interacting with "normal" animals like a Great Dane, an orange tabby cat or a group of singing chipmunks created and rendered so poorly in CGI you think they are cut-scenes from a video game. If you are going to create a CGI Boris, then make the rest of the cast CGI as well. We have great examples of how a cartoon bears can look cool in a three dimensional CGI. Not only can they avoid many laws of physics, but they could take a queue from Shrek and include vague imitations of those characters that Borisso blissfully beat to a pulp back in the day (maybe even talk Stan Sakai into letting Usagi Yojimbo have a cameo - Auspicious Alpha.)
I think there is real potential for Boris the Bear to make the leap to the big screen. Bust it out Dreamworks/Antz/Shrek/Over the Hedge style and call it good, nuff said! Thanks for reading true believers, EXCELSIOR!
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| Moving Pictures |
Every other Monday
Bringing you a vast wealth of comic book movie knowledge from a 4,000 plus book collection and experience at Rain City Comics.
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| The Alpha Craig |
I am the first and the last, maybe not. I'm 31 years old and still spend my disposable income on comic books. Might as well put it to good use.
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