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Summer Madhouse...oh, I mean "Magic."
by Christa Cannon

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Ba-ba-ba-BAHHH, ba-ba-baaaahhh!

Ba-ba-ba-BAHHH, ba-ba-baaaahhh!
Wow. Quite the summer we have, eh?

As the song goes: "Something familiar,
Something peculiar,
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!

Something appealing,
Something appalling,
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!"

Only there's not that many comedies. Well, not many that I'm writing about.

Let us begin!

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL That's a title! Will the movie live up to it? We shall see... so many questions already surround the movie, most of them revolving around Shia LeBeouf's character. Is he Indy's and Marion's son? Nephew? Punk off the street? James Dean, for sure. I happen to think he IS Indy's son, but we'll know for sure in another week, won't we? The always-fabulous Cate Blanchett plays a Russian with a wig I'd want if I were up against Indiana Jones. Kind of sexy. Jim Broadbent, one of my favourites, is also in this movie, although I'm not exactly sure who he is. I guess it's a good thing I'm not a reviewer, huh? P.S. Will you sing along with the
I miss you already.

I miss you already.
theme music, too? Or is that just me?

SEX AND THE CITY What can I say that hasn't already been said? Not much. Carrie & Co are back! Woo-hoo! Women everywhere will be donning their favourite va-va-voom outfit, sipping cosmos, and cheering on the girls! Big and Carrie--will they or won't they? Miranda and Steve--get it together, you're perfect for each other! Charlotte and Harry--so, so adorable. Samantha and Smith--I'm sorry, I was staring at Smith's abs...did you say something? By the way, in case you were wondering, I'm equal parts Carrie and Charlotte. Who are you?

THE DARK KNIGHT Would people be as excited to see this if Heath Ledger hadn't died so young and so early? Yes, I think we would. That trailer is amazing...gives me goosebumps every time. I'll admit it helps that I'll get a slight Cillian Murphy (Scarecrow) fix, even if it is only 2 minutes...hopefully those two minutes didn't end up on the cutting room floor. I also hope Christian Bale didn't hurt his voice too much speaking as
Except that I'm terrified of aliens, so...maybe not...

Except that I'm terrified of aliens, so...maybe not...
Batman...who apparently is required to have a low, deep, gravelly sound. Ehh, he's Christian Bale! He can do anything! And Heath, I'm very much looking forward to seeing this performance of yours. It promises to be nothing less than amazing.

GET SMART Ah, Steve Carell. Tee-hee! Okay, I don't know much about this movie...I've only seen a couple previews, and that was during episodes of The Office. But if you're going to watch a man talking into a shoe phone, wouldn't you want it to be Steve Carell?

WALL-E I have yet to see Ratatouille, but every other Pixar movie I've watched, I have loved every minute of it. Wall-e is a robot...and has spent the past several hundred years alone, doing what he was programmed to do. What happens when he's no longer alone? Well, it's Pixar...I imagine chaos will be involved somehow.

THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE Okay, I think I've been under a rock or something, because I've only recently heard about this! Billy Connolly is in this one, so that's
So long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye!

So long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye!
ten points automatically, just for having a Scottish accent somewhere in the film! Will Cancer Man be back? The Lone Gunmen? Mulder's "The Truth is Out There" poster? And I saw Scully and Mulder going in for the big kiss--but I'm more interested in counting their flashlight scenes, I think.

THE PINEAPPLE EXPRESS Ermmm....it's got pot. And Seth Rogen's acting and writing skills. The dudes who wrote Superbad, right? (We've only heard that a million times.) Ah, man, those chips look goooooood... Seth Rogen. Heh. Guy's pretty funny.

So there you have it. "Is that it?" Seven movies?! Surely there's more coming out! Well, of course there is. And stop calling me Shirley. But it's summer time, and I'm not going to sit here talking about the fifty movies being released every day, now am I?

So I'm afraid that is it. And in more ways than one. This will be my last Cannon Fodder column for Matchflick. It's been a whoooole lotta fun, but all good things must come to an end.

I'll miss my two fans.

Cheers!

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Cannon Fodder
Every other Thursday

Stream-of-conscious ruminations on whatever pops into Christa's head.


Other Columns
Other columns by Christa Cannon:

The Perils of Errol

Deja Vu...

Steeee-rrrrike Two!

Wait...this isn't a comedy?

Oh, Godard...When Does Cleo Look For a House?

All Columns


Christa Cannon
Christa would prefer to live in a world where everyone breaks out into song and dance. Um, and also one in which she is rich and very famous.



Contact
If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Christa Cannon by clicking here.


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