She so had it coming. |
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On this glorious May Sunday, columnists, bloggers, priests, and brunch servers alike are abuzz with talk of Mother's Day. Instead of being original and ignoring this Hallmark holiday, I feel compelled instead to do the obvious thing: list of some of my favorite moms (those that can be found on DVD, of course, and placed on your queue).
Beverly Sutphin SERIAL MOM
Kathleen Turner has played a few creepy moms (I'm thinking of THE VIRGIN SUICIDES here. Yikes! Almost as scary as Judi Dench!), but I preferred her in SERIAL MOM. All good moms want to protect their children, but only the best moms kill those who hurt their kids. Say what you will about John Waters, but he's got an excellent sense of family values.
Lorelai Gilmore GILMORE GIRLS
Lorelai is my favorite TV mom. Yes, the fast-talking quips are fun, but more so, I adore Lorelai for teaching her daughter the most important things in life: not to eat chips from a communal bowl at a party (more germs than the kitchen sick, fyi), to revere Joe Strummer, and, oh, that instilling her with all that self-confidence and female empowerment was cool, too.
Mrs. Parker A CHRISTMAS STORY
Ralphie's mom is old school, and yes, probably a bit passive-aggressive (no one believes the leg lamp just accidentally fell, right?). But she had such a patience and love for her family. Plus, she called it -- Ralphie did nearly shoot his eye out.
Juno MacGuff, Bren MacGuff and Vanessa Loring JUNO
JUNO features three terrific moms. You've got Juno, who knows better than to saddle her child with someone who still hasn't developed out of childhood (no matter what her body says). Then there's Juno's stepmom, Bren, who is set up to be the queen bitch of the film but turns out to be the queen lion. And finally, there's Vanessa, who doesn't let a 
Don't recognize the quote? See "Lisa's Date With Density." |
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stupid guy get in the way of her maternal instincts.
Marge Simpson THE SIMPSONS
It's hard to sum up all of Marge's matriarchal good points; she has been mothering for almost 20 years (and yet her kids are still 10, 8 and less than a year) and has offered her children and husband more than just nurturing kindness; with her brains and balls, she's the foundation of the Simpson family and the town of Springfield. Allow me to offer some of Marge's wisdom, in her own words:
* "My little guy's first rock concert. I hope the Spinal Taps don't play too loud."
* "Bart, you have roots in this town and you ought to show respect for it. This town is a part of us all. A part of us all. A part of us all. Sorry to repeat myself, but it will help you remember."
* "I know you think the Junior Campers are square and uncool, but they do a lot of neat things, like singalongs and flag ceremonies."
* "The only thing I'm high on is love."
* "I love you so much, my little bitty Barty."
Mrs. Chasen HAROLD AND MAUDE
OK, I never said my favorite moms were good ones. And Mrs. Chasen is priceless. Never has self-absorption and hypocrisy been so hilarious.
So, happy Mother's Day, moms and children everywhere. And happy day to my mom. Sure, she may not have fostered my interest in The Clash like some other, "cooler" moms, but she's the smart and sassy woman who taught me, among many other things: how to calculate sale prices at a certain percentage off, how to remove a variety of stains, and not to let perfume or lotion get on pearls (turns out gunk will wreck them). Some of her best advice: favor quality over quantity. She was talking about jewelry and jeans, but I find it applies to many other things in life, too, such as men and beer.
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Semi-wholesome Midwestern girl and certified Geek Magnet offers her suggestions - often new, sometimes classic - for DVDs that are definitely queue-worthy.
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