Even the poster's fun! |
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I'm sure that you're all as worried about the upcoming apocalypse as I am. When I was young, I watched the infamous HBO special on Nostradamus, which made me afraid of men in blue turbans who used Star Trek technology to open their office doors. Now there's a series of books and specials out on the upcoming 2012 disaster. According to the Mayan calendar, the earth cycle we currently enjoy will end on the winter solstice of 2012. Other tribes throughout the world have concurrent theories.
A few scientists have joined the call, noting that our sun will be aligned with the exact center of the Milky Way (a very rare occurrence) on that exact date. Apparently, this will cause the magnetic poles to reverse, "unleashing cosmic destruction." (1)
If only there were a group of scientists to call, a group who've thwarted the end of the world before. If only there were Ghostbusters.
I saw GHOSTBUSTERS in the theatre as a child. I went out and bought all the paraphernalia I could find and afford. I particularly remember a small booklet with stickers, instructions, and a card signifying that I was an official Ghostbuster. I can see it in my mind, but I don't have it anymore. (2)
I'm fairly certain that my memorization of the film is what allowed me to survive my haunted childhood. Remember, in POLTERGEIST, when the evil developer says that moving the dead isn't a big deal because it's not like they're Native American? Well, on my way to bed each night, often after watching POLTERGEIST, I had to walk past my stepfather's collection of Indian skulls he'd unearthed and brought home. The house was reportedly haunted and was eerily gothic. I was told to lock the doors each night, because we were so far from anyone else that no one would hear us if we were being murdered. (3)
I'm not a Ghostbuster, but I did take a special course on mysteries, enigmas, and the unknown. And while I've always wanted to say, "Back off man—I'm a scientist," I did not get degrees in psychology and parapsychology. I did, however, get to the point where 
Winston doesn't get to be in here; he asked for his own lawyer |
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people have to call me "Dr." and I get to use college students as my own private guinea pigs. I don't test Negative Reinforcement on ESP Ability, however. (4)
I know the entire film by heart, but I'll spare you my discussion of why each and every line is brilliant. Instead, here are a mere three reasons why this film is one of the best comedies ever.
1. I'm in love with Dr. Peter Vinkman. This has led to a lifetime obsession with Bill Murray. He's smart; he's deadpan; he's slimed and lives to tell about it. Is he strange and sometimes a bit too pushy? Yes. But he's still a great catch. Egon and Ray may come up with the science of how to trap a ghost, but Vinkman puts them into business. He may not do his homework, but he's quick on the draw.
He says my name.
It doesn't hurt that the actor who voiced him in the cartoon also did the voice of Garfield. (It does hurt that they made Slimer a pet.) Apparently, Bill Murray and Lorenzo Music are interchangable.
As a hero, he stands for us. He's not excited by slime and certainly doesn't want to collect it. He works for the same reasons the rest of us do—for fun, for money, for dating. He's skeptical of some of the things Egon and Ray take for granted, but when confronted by the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, he's a believer. He loves his girlfriend even though she's sometimes a slut and a dog. (5)
2. It's well written. As a fan of sketch comedy, I see most of the movies that come out of the sketch genre. Most films by SNL vets are appalling, however. Characters who are annoying in funny ways usually don't even entertain for a full five-minute sketch—I'm not sure why people think they can carry a full movie. (6)
Of course, some SNL babies are original creations, as GHOSTBUSTERS is. Yet the writer/creators don't always understand that their main characters have to be endearing to appeal to non-frat boy audiences. Think about some Adam Sandler work. Think about ALL Rob Schneider main characters.
The balance of this film is right. The main character is endearing. 
Ms. Weaver is my sci-fi girl crush |
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Today's producers would likely have Louis Tully as the main character, when he and the rest are rightly second fiddles. Even Egon, another of my heartthrobs, couldn't be the star.
It also occurs to me that today's producers would explain a lot more. We seem to trust our audiences less and less. Here, the exposition is not strained. And while this is a comedy, it's never a joke. The writers trust the audience to follow a relatively serious plot, with the rewards of some great moments and jokes on the way. Some of the points are left up to you. You are supposed to get the irony in a hearse being used as the Ghost Mobile. You are trusted to understand the sexual joke inherent in the terms "Keymaster" and "Gatekeeper." If you can't figure it out right away, you can see Tully's fly is undone before Gozer appears. Today's writers might well force us to watch an inept Tully humping Dana like the proverbial hell dog he is.
The script taught me a lot. It's how I learned the term "discreet" and definition through irony. It's where I learned that if someone asks you if you're a god, you say yes. I'd never heard of St. Jerome, the patron saint of libraries, before this film. Trying to call the Ghostbusters line taught me about 555 numbers. I'd never seen a succubus before this. (I was relieved to discover years later that there are incubi, too.) I learned about the power of metaphor ("Tell him about the Twinkie"). I learned not to cross the streams. Egon told me that print was dead (which didn't stop me from becoming a textual analyst). I learned it's a bad idea to have an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on your back. I also learned to love and fear gargoyles.
3. The movie is really Old Testament. The Western World doesn't really like to think about the Old Testament, unless they're calling for someone to be punished for eating shrimp (which is right beside sodomy as a sin, people) or for an eye for eye legal system. Instead, we grow complacent and comfortable with the New Testament—one in which we can be forgiven without 
Get her, Ray! |
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bloodshed (except Jesus's)—one in which there is only one God whose Holy Day we can ignore.
The Old Testament is a strange beast, however. The god who shall not be named doesn't say he's the only one in the Old Testament. He just says not to worship the others. The others are there and their followers have powers, but the god of Abraham seems to have more.
GHOSTBUSTERS takes us back to those times. Winston brings up the possibility that we're about to suffer the apocalypse mentioned in the Bible, but it's a Hittite god who shows up. I'm fairly certain that if this film were made now, the Religious Right would manage to get their panties in a wad about it, even though the Ghostbusters defend a ruined church.
Would Gozer coming to destroy us fulfill the Christian prophecy of the end of the world? Would a 2012 pole reversal be as bad as what Ray calls "total protonic reversal"?
I've never understood exactly how religions are understood to overlap. Take this one confusing example. The Bible clearly states that followers of the god of Abraham are not allowed to use astrology or astronomy to predict things. Yet Zoroastrians predict the coming of the Messiah through a star. This is supposed to be evidence, though the book tells us it can't be.
I'll be watching for the signs leading up to 2012. I spend a lot of time in libraries; if I find myself noting, "No human being would stack books like this," I'll give you a heads up.
(1) I haven't been this scared since 1993, when we were on the cusp of the sacred Thundar the Barbarian prophecy.
(2) Note to self: this is why you don't have to throw anything away again.
(3) I still have insomnia.
(4) Yet.
(5) In musicals, you can tell the couple is supposed to be together because they sing a duet. Here, you can tell they're supposed to be together because they seem to be wearing the exact same shade of blush in the first apartment scene.
(6) GHOSTBUSTERS is the brainchild of SNL/SCTV alumni: Dan Aykroyd (SNL); Harold Ramis (SCTV); Bill Murray (SNL); Rick Moranis (SCTV).
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| Comedies with Dr. Karma |
Every other Wednesday
Dr. Karma discusses all things comic, from the classics to what may become classics. Laugh with, but not at, her, please.
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| Karma Waltonen |
Dr. Karma is a silly, nerdy know-it-all, but in a good way. She brings all her overeducation to discuss that which truly matters: comedy. As some famous guy once said: “And if I laugh at any mortal thing, ‘tis that I may not weep.” Or something like that.
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