"I'll be back." Cheese that wasn't written cool- it was said cool. |
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"So we're just gonna go in there and kill him?
"No, I'm gonna ask him some questions. Then we're gonna kill him."
The preview for 2008's STREET KINGS caused me to choke on my coffee and glare at the television in disgust. More Hollywood drivel, bad catch lines and even worse acting to hook in thousands of numb movie-goers who will eat nearly anything that they're fed.
Don't get me wrong, there are many current movies that deserve my five stars. After all, the new INDIANA JONES is coming out in just over a month! And I love Hollywood cheese. I wouldn't be here writing if I didn't. I could watch Schwarzenegger and Stalone blow things up and spout off famous lines all day.
But when did we cross the line from fun to filth?
There are many reasons why I believe that classic films, from CASABLANCA to THE TERMINATOR, are much better than most of the so-called hits that come out today. To pick a few is really hard without generalizing, but at least it's a start.
First off, there is modern special effects. Now, I enjoy good CGI as much as the next person, but there have been so many movies that would have benefited from less computer flash and more imagination. Horrors especially come to mind, but perhaps one of the best examples of all time, in my humble opinion, was STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM 
Yoda says kick Jar-Jar's arse I do, hmm? |
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MENACE. Despite an already large fan base and the potential to be a fantastic film, this movie imploded itself with its overdone computerized effects. I'm not even entirely sure that I finished an entire viewing. The STAR WARS trilogy of the 1970's did utilize the technology of the day, but special effects back then could only take your mind so far- you did the rest. It was to be intelligent and charming and didn't rely completely on a green or blue screen.
No, they tried acting instead.
Secondly, there's content. Movies today are trying way to hard to punch too much story into not enough time. Films that are based on books are notorious for this; afterall, why should production companies spend the extra money on another half hour of film? They already have a tremendous amount of movie-goers just crawling over each other to see the much-anticipated adaptation of their favorite book.
Take THE GOLDEN COMPASS as a recent example. Religious controversy aside, even audiences that were not familiar with Philip Pullman's books were left with a sense of emptiness. Either that or they were overwhelmed with a movie that had so much going on and not enough time to explain it all.
Speaking of movie content, whatever happened to a good old fashioned song and dance number? I am still trying to figure out 
Anonymous actor: "Excuse me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my shirt again..." |
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when a few good musical numbers in a movie suddenly became uncool. Somewhere along the way we lost the color and joy of musicals to unbelievable pyrotechnics and linear, predictable story lines. I'm sorry, but I would take a Sammy Davis Jr. number over a Vin Diesel catch-phrase any day.
It's too bad that you can't get through an entire film without seeing the lead in a wife-beater or hearing the F-word spouted millions of times. It seems to me that classic action movies such as THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN did not need the aid of nudity or poor grammar to be a box office hit. The King of Cool was classy enough to rely on a good script, good acting and something that they used to call "charisma" to earn him such a title.
So why is it, then, that movies have changed so much over the years? Why do I feel that I'm more likely to enjoy an old black and white on Turner Classic Movies than if I went to the theatre to see the new Bruckheimer flick?
It must all come down to culture.
It's my belief that all movies reflect modern society to an extent. Our slang, style and societal behavior change with each generation- as do our movies.
One of my favorite eras, for comparison, was the age of swing. I may not have been alive during those days, but I sure miss it anyway.
When were the days of fedoras and 
Fully-clothed and still getting the ladies. |
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evening gowns replaced by bare belly buttons and pants that just don't stay above the line of sight and comfort?
Back then, men were charming and cavalier. Frank Sinatra and Cary Grant didn't need to strip down to a wife-beater to chase the girls. Sure, they still probably wanted in your pants (yes, Cary Grant was a lady-chaser both on and off screen and I refuse to believe otherwise,) but at least they kept their own pants up. They used to call them belts.
They would at least hold a door open for you. They would stand when you came to the table. They would give you their seat on the bus.
Now I see girls with broken ankles having to stand on transit, while thirty-something "gentlemen" lazily hog the seats.
Suave, swing and chivalry have faded away into shiznits and selfishness. Dean Martin used to sing in his movies about love and about life. Now lyrics and lyric-less movies are about money, sex and hate.
Or maybe that's just how love and life is to us today.
Maybe we need overwhelming special effects and story lines without thought to drown our own consciences in.
According to wikipedia: An anachronism (from the Greek words ana, back, and chronos, time) is something that is out of its natural time or that appears to be so.
Hello. My name is Amanda. And I am The Girl Anachronism.
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| Bleeding Full-Length Feature Films. |
Every other Tuesday
The new, the old and the ugly of film through the perspective of realism, fanaticism or just plain late-night insomnia… ism.
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| Amanda Knoss |
If there's something Amanda can't commit to, it's a single taste in films. She believes that Walmart, Starbucks and a certain super-power government are going to clan together to take over the world. Either that, or she's over-caffeinated again.
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