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All You Need is Hate: A Paris Hilton Rant
by Aidan Abhorrent

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Do you know how DIFFICULT it is to find a work safe picture of her?!

Do you know how DIFFICULT it is to find a "work safe" picture of her?!
Everyone has at least one actor or actress (or one of each) that they just despise. Admit it, even you know of one person you've seen on the silver screen that you wish would just go away. Be it because they're talentless, they've over stayed their welcome, some personal issue you have with the way they live their life, or you're just jealous that they have something that you want (it's okay; it's natural and I won't tell anybody *wink*).

For me, that person is Paris Hilton. I've always taken offense to the Heiress (yes, capitalized, because that is her title, isn't it? That is how people refer to her, correct?) even before I saw her (atrocious) acting "abilities."

I never could figure out what it was that she actually did, aside from have sex with some guy on film and then have the video-tape published. I just figured she was one of those people who is just famous for being famous. She has a rich last name, so that makes her a Somebody.

It wasn't until after the release of her video that I delved into a bit more about who she is (and yes, by "delved" I mean I went searching for clips from the video and came across her Wikipedia entry... so sue me for liking porn).

A model slash actress.

Except that, well, I had never seen her do either. Maybe that was all just before my time. [Actually, if you'd like to get really technical, I still haven't seen her model, and I've only heard of, maybe, two movies that she's been
I fully attest that this picture makes this column gay-related.

I fully attest that this picture makes this column gay-related.
in.]

But, like most people, I became fascinated with this girl the way some people are fascinated by natural disasters, war, death/dying, famine, NASCAR and other things that you know you probably shouldn't find such joy in, but you do anyways. [Aside: I wonder how many people are going to get pissed off about that NASCAR thing...?]

The more I learned, the more I absolutely grew to detest this broad. The more I started to really hate her, the more I searched for reasons to hate her, until I got to the point in my life where I just stopped caring about that stuff altogether.

My issue isn't with her horrible acting, though.
My issue isn't with the fact that I've never seen her model and I don't know why anyone would even want to. As far as I'm concerned, she's not that pretty. But, I don't know, maybe some people like that blank-faced, empty-headed, crack-w**re look.

My issue is that I can not stand her lifestyle. This whole aura that she (and other so-called "celebutauntes" like her) seem to have that they're entitled to beneficial treatment and should be able to have whatever they want because they're rich and famous and DO YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE?! I'm not impressed with they're Flavor-of-the-Month "volunteer work" and humanitarianism. Anyone with the bank account could write a check to an organization they know nothing about. And, anyone can say they're a vegetarian, Miss Hilton, and refuse to wear fur, but I'd bet my life
Who will take Nicole's place? Better question: Who cares?!

Who will take Nicole's place? Better question: Who cares?!
savings that she still supports fashion designers who sell fur, which is just as bad as buying the fur itself.

But, I don't care, right? That's what I said. So, you're probably asking why I'm writing an article about Paris Hilton when I don't care.

There are two reasons for that:
1.) It's something to write about and I just like to bitch about things and people.
2.) I saw something on TV that made me absolutely sick to my stomach and feel like I had to voice my opinion on it.

In October, MTV will be airing a new reality-TV show entitled PARIS HILTON IS MY NEW BFF. The premise of the show is that, with Nicole Ritchie out of commission with her new family (no comment), Paris needs a new party buddy. Twenty girls will compete for a chance to go to LA with Paris and be her new sidekick.

The only question I have is: Why?

With all the drama that ends up surrounding Paris and her cronies, with all the backstabbing and fighting that goes on in Hollywood's young It-girl party scene, why would anyone want to willingly throw themselves into that mess?

This is what America's youth is doing? These are the aspirations that today's young women have?

It's enough to make me want to die.
And, it's definitely enough to make me remember why my TV rarely strays from the Discovery Channel.

Do me a favor. Turn off your TVs, put down the tabloids, stop giving this girl power, and go see a movie. RUN, FATBOY, RUN is playing now. Go see that.

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Jan 18, 2011 12:37 AM
 
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Jan 25, 2011 7:44 PM
 
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Acting Queer
Every other Tuesday

Talking about movies from a queer girl's point of view, possibly with psychological, sociological and political undertones.


Other Columns
Other columns by Aidan Abhorrent:

[Bi]Curiosity

Movies + People = World's Worst Combo

Hello. I fail.

Where're My Girls At?

The Movie Diaries

All Columns


Aidan Abhorrent
Aiden is a queer punk rocker feminist with a loud mouth and too much to say. Studying psychology and sociology makes her think she knows everything about everybody, which she very well might.



Contact
If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Aidan Abhorrent by clicking here.


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