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Wait...this isn't a comedy?
by Christa Cannon

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If I'm late for Movie Night, Christa will have my head!

"If I'm late for Movie Night, Christa will have my head!"
In my last column, I talked about how lazy I've been feeling towards watching certain movies. I finally managed to see CLEO FROM 5 TO 7, and it was good--worth the wait, I suppose. But it does seem that, even when I want to, I have trouble turning off my brain or suspending disbelief.

Mostly when it comes to certain genres. I admit it, I'm a movie snob. But this is nothing you don't already know. I will watch most anything, even if I don't think I'll like it. It may take me a while to get to it, but I don't like to keep myself in a box when it comes to film. Often, I'm pleasantly surprised, so it pays to keep your mind open! (The BOURNE trilogy is a perfect example...I never thought I'd enjoy them, but I'm really looking forward to tonight's Movie Night so I can finish with THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM.)

But darn if I can't shut off my brain for a "normal" action flick. Like LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD. Before you chuckle, this was in my husband's queue, not mine! And I wasn't technically "watching" it...(uh-huh). I was reading and occasionally glancing up. (It's true!) I happen to like Justin Long, even if he's doing something like DIE HARD. First of all, I've only seen bits and pieces of previous DIE HARDs, and
Somebody get this man an Ex-Lax, already!

Somebody get this man an Ex-Lax, already!
have never been impressed. And I'm not a Bruce Willis fan. Sorry, kids. As my husband says, he pretty much has one look: Pissed Off and Confused. I guess putting those together really just makes him look constipated. Needless to say, I personally don't think he's a great actor and will not go out of my way to see a movie in which he stars.
I'm sure he's a nice guy, and he is pretty good at what he does,
but I'd never, ever pay to see him play Shakespeare.

All right, I'll stop bashing on Bruce Willis! I promise that's not what this article is about! (Bruce, I'd still work with you! Titus Andronicus? That might actually suit you...)

Anyway, every time I looked up while my husband was watching the latest installment of DIE HARD, I would end up laughing. Yes, there were some funny moments...but mainly I couldn't stop laughing at the unbelievable plot! The things his character did...oh, man. Do they really expect us to believe that could happen? NO, I suppose they don't. That's why people escape into film; they want to get away from reality! But I find that harder to do with these types of movies. I can believe that mice wear shirts and help clean the house. I can believe that people will
Ahhh...just another day at the Cannon household...

Ahhh...just another day at the Cannon household...
break out into song and dance for no apparent reason. (After all, I do. Daily.) But a 50-year-old man jumping onto speeding trucks? Hopping off a jet plane? Emerging from a fireball unscathed? That I cannot wrap my brain around.

I guess that's what makes me a Film Snob. I will suspend my disbelief for certain movies, but not others. Why is that?! Why am I more drawn to depressing flicks...or musicals...or weird movies that no one's ever heard of?

Do I think I'm better than everyone else, because I like artsy movies? No, I do not. As I mentioned last week, sometimes even I suffer through these movies. (IN THE BEDROOM, I'm looking at you!) And if you think my taste is "out there," you should see my brother's! Granted, he's
always introducing me to fascinating and great films like RUSSIAN ARK... he was a film major, which we all know has its own breed. But I could never watch Godard on a daily basis. Could you? Does that make me a bad person? Does it matter that I love ANNE OF GREEN GABLES but my brother laughs every time (SPOILER ALERT!) Matthew dies?

Nah. You watch your Rambo....I'll watch my Anne. Or Cleo. Whatever I feel like.

It's all good.

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Cannon Fodder
Every other Thursday

Stream-of-conscious ruminations on whatever pops into Christa's head.

Other Columns
Other columns by Christa Cannon:

Summer Madhouse...oh, I mean "Magic."

The Perils of Errol

Deja Vu...

Steeee-rrrrike Two!

Oh, Godard...When Does Cleo Look For a House?

All Columns

Christa Cannon
Christa would prefer to live in a world where everyone breaks out into song and dance. Um, and also one in which she is rich and very famous.

If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Christa Cannon by clicking here.

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