
Fries are sexier than sex |
| It's V-Day eve and I don't know about you, but I'm already sick of it. Luckily, my grocery store already has the Easter decorations out. Thursday night is usually my book club night, but my boyfriend keeps insisting that I cancel bookclub for V-Day. I told him I would if we bought each other a roomba. I'm so romantic.
My V-Day practice for many years (usually without a bf) has been to order a pizza, get some good beer, and watch THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER. There are cute guys, but not so much romance, and I have a thing for submarine movies.
I've been racking my brain for the last two weeks trying to come with comedies for those of us who eschew romance. I tried to find you movies that wouldn't even have romance as a subplot (which counted out almost everything)* and that were movies I would actually want to watch (which discounted a lot of horrible films). At first it was difficult, but the longer I looked, the more I had to cut down the list to keep from giving you too many.
1.THE SIMPSONS MOVIE. This will make you forget about v-day. I mean, yes, Lisa falls for Colin and somehow Marge stays with Homer, but this movie isn't romantic. In fact, the closest thing to a sex scene results in great mental damage to woodland creatures. This film is ultimately about Spider-Pig, aka Harry Plopper.
2.HOT FUZZ. While I recommended SHAUN OF THE DEAD (same writers, stars, director) as a romantic comedy, this film is completely a buddy picture. This is a beautifully written, hilarious send-up of the action genre. If I were teaching narrative economy (which means there's a purpose for every line, every prop, every shot, etc.), I would use this film.
3.MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING. The video store will tell you this is a romantic comedy. However, love is thwarted, as it is in real life. And that might make you feel better. The opening credits are Ani D'Franco's version of "Wishin' and Hopin'"—a beautiful song about changing yourself completely for him. The director doesn't uphold this viewpoint, though. Instead, we are supposed to ask 
Best cops, ever |
| ourselves if the match made in the film is right when the girl is going to give up college and be unhappy about her husband's job. Watching Julia Roberts being a bitch is good, watching Rupert Everett is better.
4.MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL. I could probably put any Monty Python film here. In fact, LIFE OF BRIAN is my favorite, but there is love in BRIAN that's missing here. Here you get the holy hand grenade, Tim the Enchanter, a lesson in witch hunting logic, and the lack of closure that signals postmodernism and the pythonesque.**
5.BORAT. While there is romantic pursuit and a coupling at the end, I can't bring myself to consider this romantic. In fact, the chase scene is probably a wonderful prophylactic—it's a turn off for me, anyway. You'll be busy thinking about America. How can racist storeowners be so patient? How can we be so gullible? We don't come off well in this film, but neither does anyone else. Dr. Karma's favorite part: the bear.***
6.WAR OF THE ROSES. This film was one of the many made with Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas. While the others showed them falling in love, this shows them falling in love and Turner's character falling out. Their friend narrates a violent and perverse tale of divorce. Douglas's character's refusal to give up on their relationship isn't romantic; it's insane.
7.THIS IS SPINAL TAP. Again, I could put almost any Christopher Guest project here, but this is the one that started it all. It's also the strongest. If you haven't seen it (or haven't seen it in a while), you'll love the cameos, the songs, the herpes sores. The cast collaborated on all the songs and are the actual performers of them. Note that "Big Bottom" is played with all bass guitars. This movie is about getting rid of Yoko Ono and remembering what's really important—the Rock!
8.THE TOY. One of Richard Pryor's best. A rich brat thinks Pryor's character (Jack) is entertaining and asks his father to "buy" him as a toy for his vacation. Jack finds himself caught between his dignity and his poverty. As 
Is that a carrot in your mouth, or . . . oh wait, it is |
| Romeo says, "I pay thy poverty and not thy will." Jack is bought, but the internal struggle continues, exacerbated by a boy who's never been loved. Jackie Gleason plays U.S. (which in the South is pronounced another way) with great aplomb.
9.MRS. DOUBTFIRE. Many people don't like this movie. Fine. Don't watch it. While it's not THE TOY, it has redeeming features. Robin Williams is funny; cross-dressing has been a comedy staple for centuries. As someone who's broken up with men-boys, it's nice to watch a film in which they grow up a bit. It's even nicer to end a film without having to take them back.
10.SCOTLAND, PA. What do you get when you take Shakespeare's MACBETH, make it a dark comedy, and transplant it to 1970s America? One of Dr. Karma's favorite movies. Christopher Walken is Macduff. Maura Tierney is Lady Macbeth. One of the things this adaptation gets right is how much the Macbeths are in love in the beginning and how their relationship suffers—note that Lady Macbeth doesn't start to lose her mind until her husband starts leaving her out of the loop. Favorite line (from a minor character): "Sir, I called the number, like, 95 times. I practically had it memorized."
11.EDDIE IZZARD: DRESS TO KILL. If you haven't discovered Eddie Izzard, make it your Valentine's Day Quest. While his stand-up routines are far from romantic, you will fall in love. (Okay, maybe I'm projecting, as I'm desperately in love with him.) While all of his filmed performances are phenomenal, this tops the list for me. Some of the things you'll learn—why Shaggy and Scooby are two of the most important characters in American Literature, how you can take over countries with the cunning use of flags, and how Heimlich invented that "maneuver."
* Part of the reason that finding comedies with romance is difficult is that comedies, by definition, traditionally end with marriage, or, today, with hooking up.
** Yes, pythonesque is a word. This proves Monty Python's coolness. But not Santorum's.
*** Dr. Karma's favorite part of TALLADEGA NIGHTS is Karen.
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| Comedies with Dr. Karma |
Every other Wednesday
Dr. Karma discusses all things comic, from the classics to what may become classics. Laugh with, but not at, her, please.
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| Karma Waltonen |
Dr. Karma is a silly, nerdy know-it-all, but in a good way. She brings all her overeducation to discuss that which truly matters: comedy. As some famous guy once said: “And if I laugh at any mortal thing, ‘tis that I may not weep.” Or something like that.
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