Ah, young love: ain't it grand? |
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Wholly bereft of column ideas this week, providence smiled down upon me when Vongo refused to download ANDRE THE BUTCHER, and forced me to go scrolling through other titles. After failing to be able to download anything I wanted, I closed the window in disgust...except when I opened it up to try again about an hour later, the one lowly title I left in my queue had actually downloaded while I was looking the other way! That title was CITIZEN TOXIE. That name may or may not sound familiar to you, so to clear up any confusion, its subtitle is THE TOXIC AVENGER PART 4. It had managed to escape my close scrutiny for some time now, so I was jazzed that fate plunked in down in my lap like it did. I watched it post-haste, and was gratified at not being let down by the unholy offense machine that is Troma films, and its ever-manic low-budget wunderkind Lloyd Kaufman.
For those of you not in the know, Troma is one of the few actual independent film companies left around. They are not pretend independent with secret (or not so secret) big company backing, nor are they the subsidiary of some major production house. They are still housed in the shitty Hell's Kitchen slum that they've been occupying for the past 30 years, and they are still cranking out product for the trailer trash masses out of their own pockets.
Note: Troma both produces its own features as well as purchasing the distribution rights to other films (often for a song) that probably would not be seen as widely otherwise. But I have heard enough people trash-talk Troma films that bear only the Troma imprint to know that some people can't tell the difference. Basically, unless you see self-flagellation of the Troma name and Troma characters throughout the film, you're watching something they put out, and not produced.
Troma's first decade or so of existence (formed when Lloyd Kaufman, who had already been making films, of a sort, met and partnered with Michael Herz) was spent making your basic T&A comedy. SIZZLE BEACH, USA, THE FIRST TURN-ON, WAITRESS!, etc. It wasn't until 1985 that they had their first big hit with THE TOXIC AVENGER. It was a magic combination of the right idea at the right time, and the decision to simply hold nothing back. They utilized a concept that Kaufman had learned with his first short film, which he shot in Africa, of a pig being slaughtered. If you shocked people, whether they enjoyed your film or not, they generally kept their asses in those seats.
A universe was created around a town called Tromaville, and it contained some very bad people. From psychopathic transvestites to corrupt, drug-pushing town officials to homicidal, work-out obsessed stoners, where were the poor, innocent townsfolk to turn?
Well, nowhere, at least not until the second reel of the film. That is when a prank involving a pink tutu and a slatternly sheep goes horribly wrong and poor Tromaville Gym janitor and uber-dork Melvin Junko takes a header out a second floor window directly into a 55-gallon drum of toxic waste and becomes...well, you know. After being denied entrance to his familial abode due to his hideous new appearance, Melvin takes up residence at the local junkyard. But pretty soon, some strange new inner force compels him to take action against the evildoers that would make the streets of Tromaville unsafe to walk at night.
That action mainly involved knocking heads together and ripping people's guts out. You see, in Troma's eyes, the lame superheroes who always obey the law and never take life are just plain too wussy for their taste. Haven't you ever just wanted to see Superman get tired of Luthor's shit and twist a steel bar into a pretzel up his ass? Well, you never will. But Toxie, on the other hand, takes absolute delight in sadistic finishing moves. Like shoving a naked chick down onto the hot rocks in a sauna, or literally making a meal out of three would-be robbers of a fast-food restaurant (one becomes a sundae, one has his hands turned into fries, and the other gets shoved into a pizza oven, after being beaten with his own ripped off arms, of course). It's a lovely catharsis, finally seeing the bad guys getting their comeuppance right away, instead of watching 90 minutes of lead-up until the hero is left with no choice but to do the unthinkable. Here, we get instant gratification, and it's on to the next disembowelment!
Naturally, Toxie needs a girlfriend, like any hero does. You need to take the edge off after a day of maiming and killing evildoers. This better half comes in the form of poor, blind Sara, whom Toxie saves from being unceremoniously violated, back-door style, by the very same armless pizza dude. But not before he shot and killed Sara's guide dog (yes, no creature, great or small, is safe in a Troma film). Toxie escorts her home safely, and they remain together from then on. Oddly 
I forget: how many points is a kid on a bike? |
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enough, it's actually rather sweet. She wants to feel his face, like in MASK, but he doesn't want her to, because he knows she will find him hideous. Except she doesn't: she finds him beautiful...on the inside.
*sniff*
I'm sorry, where was I?
Ah, yes. Horrible mutilations and murders.
So, Toxie saves the day all around, and what does he get for his trouble? The National Guard called on him by the corrupt mayor, played by big and bad Pat Ryan, also seen in Troma's CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH (the wet fart/dry fart guy). But then the whole town gathers around Toxie, and won't let the man destroy the ugly and obnoxious "monster." Yup. No symbolism there.
With the success and name recognition that Toxie brought to Troma, they began specializing in grimy horror films, serving as both producer (Kaufman and Herz, that is) and distributor for such gems as IGOR AND THE LUNATICS and COMBAT SHOCK as well as furthering the exploits of Tromaville with the aforementioned NUKE 'EM HIGH and TROMA'S War.
1989 saw a return to the Toxie franchise with not one sequel, but two: THE TOXIC AVENGER 2 and THE TOXIC AVENGER 3: THE LAST TEMPTATION OF TOXIE.
Parts 2 and 3 actually have the distinction of being two films shot at the same time, where one is rather good and the other completely sucks. The good one is part 2. Like any sequel should, it continues the original's storyline while expanding on it. As Toxie puts the kibosh on evil, he begins suffering from depression. As he fulfills the need that the Tromatons coursing through his system drive him towards (the evil kiboshing) he naturally removes his function from society. With no evil to fight, he has nothing to do. He can't get a job, and is reduced to living off of his girlfriend's welfare check.
Then along comes the villainous crime syndicate Apocalypse, Inc. They want Toxie out of the way so they can take over Tromaville, and they use his crazy psychiatrist to get at him. She convinces him to look for his deadbeat dad in Japan, where AI have an antidote to his Tromatons waiting to turn him into a pile of goo. The ever-trusting Toxie says goodbye to his blind bitch, oddly transformed here into a Marilyn Monroe wannabe named Claire, and sets off to the land of the rising sun. The decision to film in Japan was a solid one, in my opinion, as Toxie sets about skewering every piece of Japanese culture. I especially enjoyed the "puburic bath" sequence, and the way the Japanese actors and actresses were hilariously dubbed by American actors (including Michael Herz himself).
There is much nudity, and the gore is right on target, having been overseen by Troma acolyte Pericle Lewnes (writer and director of REDNECK ZOMBIES, a film much flogged at the beginning of Part 3), and they somehow maintain that mix of gross-out lowest common denominator crapfest vibe and honest sentiment and emotion. Unlike part 3, which only manages the crapfest part. It seems as if they took all of the stuff that wasn't good enough or funny enough or offensive enough to make the cut for Part 2, and cobbled it together for Part 3. Which I guess would fit in with the Troma way of doing things.
Simply put: it sucks. It begins as if Part 2 had never happened, and has Toxie falling for a ruse by Apocalypse, Inc. They offer him a job, and turn him into a Gordon Gecko wannabe. There is way too much of Phoebe Legere in it (one would think that there is no such thing as too much camel-toe, until you see this film) for starters, and it just drags along, making one lame joke after another. I was also surprised to see Dan Snow reprising his role as Cigar Face, considering that character was clearly killed in Part 1 (he is listed as being in Part 2, and can even be seen in the photo gallery on that DVD, but f*cked if I could spot him). I will say that it does have some good, gory kills, though, and the devil transformation is possibly worth the movie to watch.
Much more pleasant is the thought of skipping forward another 11 years to the latest installment, CITIZEN TOXIE: THE TOXIC AVENGER PART 4.
In the intervening decade, Troma kept their vision of shocking cinema afloat with some more NUKE 'EM HIGH sequels, added another franchise character in the form of SGT. KABUKIMAN, NYPD, and scored two direct hits with TROMEO AND JULIET (which you can read about in my James Gunn column) and TERROR FIRMER. Somewhere in that time, they absolutely perfected their game, and it shows in spades with Part 4.
The film opens with the Diaper Mafia invading the Tromaville School for the Very Special, the students of which constantly referred to as retards, or just 'tards, to the unending chagrin of the PCers, and proceeding to be violent and murderous and as naked as possible. Cue Toxie to the rescue, as he disguises himself as a beautiful bikini-clad 
Ms. Weiner and Tito and some really gross porn. |
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reporter to gain entrance. What follows is the typical Toxie bloodbath, complete with Caleb Emerson of DIE YOU ZOMBIE BASTARDS! fame getting suffocated with his own shit-filled diaper (his DYZB partner Haig Demarjian appears later in the film as St. Peter to Hank the Angry Dwarf's God), another diapered gentleman having his head shoved up his own ass, and scripter and general taker of abuse from Kaufman Trent Haaga being disemboweled (all three show up later in the film, only to be killed again).
At this point, the film really takes a turn for the weird. When a bomb the Diaper Mafia planted at the school detonates, we get an explanation from Dr. Flem Hocking (James Gunn) on how it caused a rift between two dimensions, and allowed Toxie to change places with The Noxious Offender from across the dimensional portal in Amortville. Now everyone thinks that Toxie is a bad guy, killing cops and little kids, while the real Toxie must lead the two survivors from the explosion, Sweetie Honey and the insufferable drug-addicted retard Tito, to safety, and hopefully back to their home dimension.
Basically, the movie is two hours of dick and fart jokes, and the most gruesome and unsettling death and gore the guys could come up with. It also gives almost the entire cast the opportunity to play dual roles, which is always really fun. It also serves up many great cameos. In addition to the few I have already mentioned, be on the lookout for Dan Snow again, here as the Hitler-esque Ted Kazinksi, Mark Torgl, the original Melvin (a thankful thing to see after the godawful dude they had playing him in Part 3), Debbie Rochon as the pregnant Ms. Weiner, identical twin comedians Jason and Randy Sklar (credited as Foofy and Skippy Applebaum, respectively), Corey Feldman as a mustachioed gynecologist (credited as Kinky Finklestein), and the ubiquitous Lemmy Kilmister (whom James Gunn has referred to, I believe, as "a dick".
Now, the really observant people will also notice fleeting glimpses of Julie Strain, Eli Roth, and Tiffany Shepis in the Playboy Mansion Grotto Party scene. Who you will not notice is Hugh Hefner, who asked to be cut from the film. And finally, a certain person does a bit of narration, and is credited as Peter Parker. I'll let you figure that one out on your own.
I should also point out that CITIZEN TOXIE has Heidi Sjursen as Sarah/Claire/Whatever, Toxie's blind girlfriend, and she is a welcome relief after two movies worth of Phoebe Legere. She is also a budding filmmaker herself.
I think I lost the thread of this column a long time ago. But, in true Troma fashion, it may suck, but it came from my heart, and I did not get paid to do it.
Notes:
1. When Netflix delivered to me the bonus disc from the TOXIC AVENGER two-disc set, it arrived with a huge crack in it, rendering it unplayable. How fitting, since most Troma films are filled with huge cracks.
2. Many different people have played Toxie, both in the suit and doing the voice. It's kind of fun to watch all four films and try to figure out who is who, and at what point Lloyd might have gotten pissed and put someone else in the mask.
3. For stories such as the above, and many more, you should really pick up both Troma books. All I Need To Know About Filmmaking I Learned From The Toxic Avenger, and Make Your Own Damn Movie!
4. In the interest of accuracy, Troma's "first big hit" would technically be a cheesy softcore softball film called SQUEEZE PLAY, which made them mucho dinero, and allowed them the ability to keep making films. When I used that term to describe THE TOXIC AVENGER, I meant it in the sense that it made Troma a household name to horror fans, and helped them build a frachise.
5. Troma's latest endeavor, the ambitious POULTRYGEIST, may just put the final nail in the studio's coffin. Visit the website to see how you can support the truly independent, and don't let that happen!
EDIT: My good friend Keith chastised me after reading this column: "I feel you could've made mention of the Saturday morning cartoon and subsequent toy line that the movies spawned. Probably the first and last time such a grotesque, politically incorrect sleazefest of a series will ever manage such a feat." He is absolutely correct. The shameful fact is, I knew of the existence of such, but have never actually beheld them personally. So I was unaware of how to go about describing them; wonderfully kitschy or abominably watered-down. Luckily he caught me during the window with which I could still edit out this fox pass.
So, without further ado, here they are. Enjoy!
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| Agent Provocateur |
Every other Sunday
Eating the flesh of lesser film geeks since '72.
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| Zombie Boy |
Zombie Boy is not a Hollywood insider, just a movie
geek with a big mouth and a strong desire to spew
opinions. His column will concentrate on the things he
feels you need to know about less mainstream cinematic
issues, but probably don't. He strongly encourages
interaction from his readers, just be sure to not put
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