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I was going to start my column with a loving analysis of BACK TO THE FUTURE, which I recently watched with my son.
But then my darling, smart-ass fourteen-year-old fell ill. And so I have used the opportunity to get his cell phone out of his hand (which breaks his girlfriend's heart), to pump him with fluids, and to have him watch some great comedy with me.
Years ago, before the girlfriend, before he became taller than I am, he used to take my suggestions. During those years, we built a filmic r'epertoire. Holidays and sick days find us having spontaneous marathons of THE SIMPSONS, HARRY POTTER, STAR WARS, or Eddie Izzard stand-up. But now that he's reached that age where my therapist has to remind me that he's not quite human in brain function, all my ideas are presumed lame until proven awesome.
So I'm using his illness as an excuse to catch him up on a few films. As culturally literate parents, we sometimes assume that we have passed down classic knowledge through our genes. (Or, more likely, we assume that our children remember watching what we were watching when they were little.) Then, our hearts break when we make a reference to CHEERS or Michael J. Fox and are disappointed when they roll their eyes.* (What's that symbol?)**
Here are the films to show your sick teenage boy—he NEEDS to see them.
1. THE GOONIES (1985). It's a fabulous adventure and it's funny. Who doesn't want to find pirate treasure? Who doesn't want to kiss their older brother's date in a cave? Your child will be amazed to see a thin Sean Astin, whom they will know as Sam Gamgee. You can tell them that Martha Plimpton has gone on to have an amazing Broadway career, but they won't care. Overall, they will love Chunk and be surprised that their generation didn't invent him.
2. CAVEMAN (1981). What do you get when you take Ringo Starr, Shelley Long (who the kids probably WON'T recognize from Cheers), Dennis Quaid, and a guy who used to play football? Not much, until you put them in a very cheesy movie with loincloths and dinosaurs. Ringo Starr is Atouk. He loves a curvaceous woman who belongs to the alpha male. When he is ejected from his tribe for trying to seduce/steal her, he forms/joins a band of misfits (the lame, the gay, the short, the English-speaking Asian, the Shelley Long). What follows is a movie chock-full of physical humor, giant bugs, drunken dinosaurs, and people being thrown into dung. There isn't much talking in this film, which should suit your teenager fine. He's familiar with talking via grunts.***
3. FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF (1986). My son had actually refused to see this movie because I (I!) recommended it. Well, when his fever 
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was 102, he was too weak to stop me. Kids need to see this. They need to know why repeating "Bueller" is funny. They need to know why tip jars still sometimes say "Save Ferris." And even though it may be irresponsible to show your child a movie about skipping school and lying to his parents (if you haven't raised them "right" already), we could all use the lessons in the film. Ferris's sister needs to learn that only she is accountable for her happiness. Cameron needs to learn to stop internalizing. We all need to learn that "the world moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you might miss it."****
4. GHOST BUSTERS (1984). I saw this movie in the theatre when it came out. I wanted to be a Ghostbuster. I formed a team. We had costumes. We collected the movie paraphernalia. This is the film that began my crush on Bill Murray (he says my name in the movie!). This is, without doubt, the best movie that came out of the SNL franchise. As with Ferris, this movie imparts an important lesson—when someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES.
5. AUSTIN POWERS (original—1997). You can use any movie in the series. This is one of the few times I'll say that—I rarely find sequels comparable to the original. Myers, however, is a comic genius. And while much of the humor is too scatalogical for my taste (that is, too many shit jokes), it's solid. The kids like it cause it's gross. I like it because it makes fun of spy movies and older British comedies. Plus, I love minis!
6. MEN IN BLACK (1997). The first, not the second. I mean, I like the second, but it's not the first. Tommy Lee Jones has recently tried to be funny in other movies, but he's never quite pulled it off like he did here. Will Smith is appealing. And this is probably the only Linda Fiorentino film you can show your kids.
7. BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE (1989). I have to admit that I didn't want to see this film when it came out. I was way too busy being an uptight nerd to want to see a movie about slackers. But this movie has its charms. I love Carlin's moments and the way the boys learn to manipulate time travel. This is also Keanu Reeve's most believable role.*****
8. GALAXY QUEST (1999). This is another one that my son really resisted, although he watches classic STAR TREK with me via Netflix. This is certainly the best comedy Tim Allen ever made. Alan Rickman is brilliant and Sigourney Weaver (the queen [pun intended] of sci-fi movies) is HOT. This movie taps into all of the stereotypes and conventions of sci-fi and gives them a Vulcan nerve pinch. My favorite moment is when the cast is going up to some "cute" aliens. Guy 
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(Sam Rockwell) stays behind, as he has a bad feeling. "Did you guys ever WATCH the show," he complains. When the aliens turn on them, Sigourney's character becomes concerned for him, as he's the "red shirt"—"Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!"
9. Speaking of sci-fi, there's always SPACEBALLS (1987). You can do any Mel Brooks movie, really, but this one is the best for nerdy boys like mine because they'll get most of the references. You may have to explain the ending (PLANET OF THE APES), but with a half-human/half-dog (his own best friend) named Barf, how could you not please an adolescent?
10. INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE (1989). This is the only one I really consider a comedy, though the others in the series have their moments. Getting to see Indiana Jones as a boy (the late River Phoenix) and then watching him work out his father issues with the irrepressible Sean Connery makes for one of the best comic adventures in movies. Plus, you get to learn that book burning is wrong and that Nazis are bad.******
11. Yes, my list goes to 11. All of my lists will go to 11. If you love comedy, but you don't know why things are better when they go to 11, then I weep for you. BACK TO THE FUTURE (1985). It's criminal if you have a teenage child who hasn't seen this movie. You can skip the sequels. Or, if you watch the sequels, watch the first one again to leave with the best taste in your mouth. More on why this movie is brilliant in a future column. I'm off to watch the entire LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy with Pukey-McPuke.
*I actually think the eye rolling is a symptom of teenage synapse problems.
**When Karma became Dr. Karma, she became unable to write things without footnotes. Ignore them at your peril.
***As with most movies, you should be ready to have a talk with your child about content. When the cave dwellers discover that certain berries make you high, you can talk to your children about the danger of drugs. When the cave dwellers encounter dinosaurs, you can talk to your children about the danger of historical anachronism and creationists.
****Caveat—don't watch this film if it's only going to depress you as you realize you're no longer Ferris, you're the parents. Signs of being his parents—being clueless and/or being overly concerned about the Vermont people.
*****The coolest thing about watching this film with my child last night is that when Carlin's character said they can go to any place and any time, my son immediately said, "Roswell!"
******If you want to ruin it, take this moment to teach your child about the full extent of Nazi atrocities. Try to use footnotes. Teenagers love those.
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| Comedies with Dr. Karma |
Every other Wednesday
Dr. Karma discusses all things comic, from the classics to what may become classics. Laugh with, but not at, her, please.
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| Karma Waltonen |
Dr. Karma is a silly, nerdy know-it-all, but in a good way. She brings all her overeducation to discuss that which truly matters: comedy. As some famous guy once said: “And if I laugh at any mortal thing, ‘tis that I may not weep.” Or something like that.
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