Most Americans would respond to the query "What is a turkey?" with some variation of the following:
"A turkey is the large, tasty bird that will soon be stuffed, roasted, and served at my Thanksgiving dinner table."
Of course, turkey has other definitions, one being, "a poor and/or unsuccessful artistic or entertainment production." That is the kind of turkey this pillar will explore. Our turkeys are not necessarily the worst flicks of the year, but they are among 2007's most ambitious box office failures. Excepting EVENING, our B.O. Turkeys are all moderate to high budget affairs. Major Oscar and Pulitzer Prize-winning talent contributed to these Box Office Gobble-fests.
It should have been an artistic triumph and, at least, a modest box office success. Instead, EVENING did the Turkey Trot at a multiplex, and received mixed reviews on the side of bad. One reviewer quipped, "This is a chick flick that even women won't pay to see."
Why didn't this box office turkey fly? It's difficult to say. The late June release starred legendary ladies of the silver screen: Meryl Streep, Vanessa Redgrave and Glenn Close. Toni Collette, Claire Danes, and Natasha Richardson were thrown in for good measure.
Leading EVENING's testosterone brigade were Broadway and Hollywood phenom Patrick Wilson, up-and-comer Hugh Dancy, and GREASE'S original Danny Zucko - Barry Bostwick.
The screenplay was co-written by EVENING novelist Susan Minot with Pulitzer Prize-winning Michael Cunningham. Add to all of this talent, the breathtaking beauty of Newport Rhode Island location photography. Still and all, this Pedigreed Box Office Bird garnered a scant $12 million at the worldwide box office.
Then there was ACROSS THE UNIVERSE (10-12-07, wide): Gobble. Gobble. The ads teased us," Within the lyrics of the world's most famous songs lives a story that has never been told until now." Apparently, as far as Match Flickers were concerned, the story could have remained untold.
In short, Jude, a dock worker comes to 1960s' America, hoping to find his estranged father, but, instead, falling in love with American teen, Lucy. This UNIVERSE is wrapped in director Julie Traymor's visually stunning aesthetics, as well as in the Beatles greatest songs. Lovely to look at, musically warm and rich, ACROSS THE UNIVERSE left most MatchFlickers emotionally cold. It has yet to break the $20 million mark at the worldwide box office.
Third time was a curse, and not the charm, for THE INVASION (8-17-07), the second major remake of the 1956 horror classic 
Legendary Ladies and Testosterone could save Hugh Dancy's EVENING |
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INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS. A 1978 remake, starring Donald Sutherland, was both a box office and critical success, but this year's update, complete with Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig, was a turkey with critics and Match-Flickers alike.
Am I wrong, or has Nicole Kidman not had a major box office success since MOULIN ROUGE (2001) ?
TURKEY OF THE YEAR!
LUCKY YOU (05-04-07): (Gobble, Gobble, Gobble!) Everyone involved with LUCY YOU knew exactly how little faith Warner Bros. had in this Curtis Hanson-directed drama when they learned that their flick was scheduled for release on the same weekend as the eagerly-anticipated SPIDERMAN-3. Hollywood knows that being released opposite a hugely popular motion picture franchise movie is the box office equivalent of a toilet flush.
Consequently, this Eric Bana, Drew Barrymore, Robert Duvall, Debra Messing vehicle grossed a most fowl $8.3 million worldwide, making LUCKY YOU, not only a misnomer, but quite possibly the biggest box office turkey of 2007.
Please take no offense if one of your favorite flicks is included in my Turkey Trot. No offense is intended. I'm not making a judgment on the entertainment value or quality of the productions herein. The "Turkey" designation simply reflects poor box office performance.
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| The Business of Show |
Every other Friday
Does advertising, public taste, or overindulged stars determine a movie's box office fate? Christoper Stone explores what's going on behind the box office.
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| Christopher Stone |
Christopher Stone is the author of the international best seller Re-Creating Your Self. With Mary Sheldon, he co-authored three highly successful hardcover books of guided meditations.
He is a member of the Writers Guild of America, West.
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