She is one scary dame |
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I'll admit it; I've never been good at coming up with my Halloween costumes. I have plenty of great ideas for other people, but for myself, I always draw a blank. I generally do a variation on "Du in the 80s"-- I have lace ribbon to put in my hair if I'm doing a Madonna-inspired du, or plenty of black clothing and hairspray if I'm going to do a Bauhaus-inspired du. My friend Tonia is one of those people who can head to Goodwill and come out with a fabulous original costume. I always look forward to the emailed photos that arrive in my inbox on November 1. One year she was a fabulous Mary Katherine Gallagher. (She's got the hair already). Another year she was Kelly Osborne. The resemblance was uncanny.
I've heard that pirate costumes are flying off the shelves faster than fun-sized Snickers on megasale. I'm asking you nicely: don't be one of a dozen pirates at your chosen Halloween party. If you're all dressed alike, you'll start dissing the guy wearing Reeboks with his flowing black pants. Don't be that guy.
Last year, I saw a streaker-- flesh-colored body suit with drawn-on pubes and nipples. It was impressive. I have heard of significant others going as each other, or dressing as one's dog . . . could be interesting. Or you might go political, but I suspect that at any given party there will be many Hillarys, Baracks, dubyas, and (hopefully), many men dressed as Cheney's hunting buddy. Instead, take one of my (mainly) movie-inspired costume ideas:
1. HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL
Not as fun as wearing an eye patch and sporting a parrot on your shoulder, but FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF and THE BREAKFAST CLUB both had terribly scary principals that you can use for inspiration. And, hey, it's fun to mock authority and pretend to be a buffoon; and if you are a buffoon usually, you get to be yourself but in a 
Take your pick! |
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poorly-fitting suit. Plus, there is just something daunting that tends to linger about principals, often long after graduation. In Catholic school, Sr. Mary Lou (if that was her real name) force-fed me chili. I had nightmares for years. My junior year I had my varsity letter stripped from me, and my principal came to my house to tell my mother personally. That silly mustache always seemed to sneak up behind me when I was swearing at my locker. After graduation, he came to the video store where I worked to return a TMNT video. For a moment, that old familiar anxiety returned, and I silently implored, "Don't see me, don't recognize me, don't hassle me . . . " -- and then I realized that I had graduated, so I asked, in the snottiest tone I could muster at such short notice, "Did you enjoy your video, sir?"
2. 200 CIGARETTES
You and your friends can go as characters from 200 CIGARETTES, except your goal is to have fun on Halloween night instead of New Year's. People not in the know will just think you're all doing an 80s thing. The beauty of this idea? There's something for everyone. Got a skinny blonde friend with an annoying voice? Well, she can be Kate Hudson's character, the whiny, filthy Cindy. Got a scary, skanky friend? She can be Courtney Love's character. (My attraction for Paul Rudd went on sabbatical after that movie because I pictured them together in my mind . . . the same thing happened when I found out about Courtney and Ed Norton. I'm glad to say, I have basically recovered). Janeane as Ellie, Elvis as himself, Christina Ricci, Martha Plimpton, Dave Chappelle as the Disco Cabbie . . . the list goes on, and the clothes shouldn't be that hard to find and would be fun as hell to wear.
3. Judi Dench
Chills. There is nothing scarier than Judi Dench.
4. THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS
Maybe I'm 
Oh, Ben, even if you rank low with grownups, you're the cat's pajamas to me |
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mentioning this because the last few times I was channel-surfing, Comedy Central was playing this movie. It's old enough, I think, to be canonical, and not feel so "five minutes ago" as it may have last year or the year before. Margot Tenenbaum is a great costume for the right girl (black eyeliner, cigarette, makeshift fake ring finger), and if a guy hit on me at a Halloween party wearing a red track suit looking remotely like Ben Stiller as Chas, I'd leave the party with him. I mean, if I didn't have a boyfriend, of course. I'm just sayin'.
5. Ninjas
Consider a ninja costume; my students say that ninjas are always cool.
6. Johnny Depp had a long, rich career before PIRATES
Be inspired by other Johnny Depp characters. Let's get over PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, shall we? Got big Robert Smith hair? Edward Scissorhands is your obvious choice. Or how about George Jung from BLOW? Ichabod Crane, Willy Wonka, Sam from BENNY AND JOON -- or you could just IMDB him yourself and see what you come up with.
7. Dare to be yellow
I am always all for anything Simpsons related, this year especially. If you're bringing your dog to the party, he could be Spider Pig. If you are female, have sexy hips and access to a beehive wig, it is your duty as an American to dye that wig blue and find yourself a strapless dress.
8. Badgers and Hawkeyes and Gophers, oh my!
I am told that something the kids in the Midwest are doing this year is dressing up like a "crazy (fill in the rival sports team of your choice) fan." Not sure if there's joy in buying a jersey for a player on a team you dislike just for the sake of irony, but it's a fun idea if a) you can borrow a jersey from a friend, and b) your pride doesn't mind taking an idea I got from my boyfriend's 11 year old son. But hey, it beats "crazy protractor guy."
Now, gimme some candy!
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| Take Your Queue From Du |
Every other Sunday
Semi-wholesome Midwestern girl and certified Geek Magnet offers her suggestions - often new, sometimes classic - for DVDs that are definitely queue-worthy.
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| Denise DuVernay |
9 out of 10 librarians think Denise is a hoot. The 10th one couldn't corroborate because she was dead.
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