Elvis, riding high on the "waves." |
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I'm sitting here on the beach in Hawaii, visiting my family and procrastinating writing this column. (Really, can you blame me?) I brought up cheesy beach movies and everybody chimed in with their favourites. What follows is our Top Ten Mindless Beach Flicks.
#10. SUMMER RENTAL. The John Candy flick that was a guilty pleasure for me and my brother growing up. Summer love, yacht racing with Pompous Rich Folk, and a boat-fixing montage with an old salt. Perfect beach movie!
#9. BLUE CRUSH A movie none of us has actually seen, but we're pretty sure it falls into the cheesy beach flick category. According to my research, it's about three girls who have only one dream: surfing the North Shore. Except one of the girls had a traumatic incident and must now overcome her fears in order to become a Great Surfer Girl. Um, okay.
#8. WHERE THE BOYS ARE One of my favourite escape movies when I was a kid! The title song by Connie Francis is one I often burst into singing. The movie itself features girls on spring break, looking for love and romance at 
"Hoochy-koochy! Hoochy-koochy!" |
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the beach...Naturally, hi-jinx ensue.
#7. GIDGET! Moon Doggie! The Big Kahuna! 90-foot surfboards! Need I say more?
#6. BEACH BLANKET BINGO So many Frankie Avalon/Annette Funicello movies to choose from, but this is my favourite. I'm also known to sing this theme song on many an occasion. Thanks to the close-ups on their surfing and the fact that Frankie's hair never moves, we don't remember much else!
#5. BLUE HAWAII Elvis. In Hawaii. With a surfboard. And pretty girls. Who wouldn't love some "Rock-A-Hula Baby?" Although, to be fair, we also have "Blue Hawaii" and "Can't Help Falling In Love."
#4. THE BLUE LAGOON, starring the lovely Brooke Shields, as Mary Katherine Gallagher would say. Oh, man...I loved this movie! How cool would it have been to grow up on your own island? It was a good thing Ms. Shields had razors on that island, to make sure her legs were silky smooth at all times. My family and I also love the long reach of THE BLUE LAGOON into TOP SECRET.
#3. COCKTAIL. Not strictly a beach movie, but the beach has 
Like he just walked out of a salon. |
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enough of a presence for this list. Plus, it's certainly cheesy enough to qualify. The hottest bartender in New York goes to the Caribbean because "time is money" and it's the 80s, so he needs to make as much money as possible in the one and a half hour running time. Plus, any movie that features The Beach Boys' "Kokomo" deserves to be high up on this list!
#2. FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY Yet another movie we haven't actually seen. We kind of refuse to. But we inherently know that it deserves to be in the number two spot. From what we understand, it's a take on all the old Frankie/Annette movies. Only with Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson. Do I really need to expand on this?
#1. POINT BREAK Johnny Utah. Bodhi. Angelo Pappas. Gary Busey loves him some meatball sandwiches. Zero distortion. Cameo by the Red Hot Chili Peppers as the Bad Guy Surfers. Bank robbin' surf gang with a heaping side of sky-diving. The Swayze's hair has its own agent. "He's not comin' back."
Okay, I think we're in the mood to re-enact some of those scenes, so I'm going to sign off.
Aloha!
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| Cannon Fodder |
Every other Thursday
Stream-of-conscious ruminations on whatever pops into Christa's head.
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| Christa Cannon |
Christa would prefer to live in a world where everyone breaks out into song and dance. Um, and also one in which she is rich and very famous.
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