Boys DO cry.... |
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I spend a lot more time than the average adult should day-dreaming that I'm living in my favorite movies. Hell, not even my favorite movies, but just movies in general. Why would a perfectly functional (okay, that may be debatable) nineteen year old woman want to pretend that she's a character in a film rather than live her real life?
Where do I begin?
Aside from the obvious facts that my life is boring, monotonous and mundane, and ignoring the fact that, frankly, who doesn't want to be an ass-kicking heroine beating the bad guys with a sexy gun and an even sexier outfit (and whose feet never get tired in those awesome stiletto heels), the answer is simple:
The movies are where all the hotties are!
I can't count the number of movies I've seen where some smokin' actress is making out with another chick and I scream in my head, "Why not me?! She should be making out with me!" The actresses I'd love to "get to know better" are infinite. But, since they're only gay in the movies, the movies are where I must go.
So, without further ado, here's my top five straight actresses who've played lesbians that I wish really were.
First and foremost I have to say Hilary 
Clea DuVall. If given the chance, I would ask to bear her child. |
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Swank. You may remember that in 1999 she bound down to play trans-man Brandon Teena in BOYS DON'T CRY. She rightfully won an Academy Award for Best Actress. My hat's off to her simply for have the balls (so to speak) to play a transgender teen. As far as I'm concerned, this woman is sex personified. The dark hair, the dark eyes, the strong yet feminine features... -girly sigh-
My next choice for wannabe lesbian is Kate Beckinsale, who played Alex in LAUREL CANYON. Granted, in the film she's engaged to Sam, but she also has a threesome with his mother Jane (played by Frances McDormand) and her boyfriend Ian (played by Alessandro Nivola). Kate's always been a favorite of mine, especially after the release of UNDERWORLD. Vampires, leather, hot women, what more could a hormonal teenager want?
Coming in close behind at number three is Clea DuVall. She played Graham Eaton in BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER. She's hands down one of my favorite actresses. She always struck me as that dykey punk rock chick (like me!) that always stares you down at shows. I'm actually convinced that if I could just talk to her for a couple of minutes I could convince 
An essential film for the teenage lesbian. |
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her to switch teams.
Fourth I have to say Rebecca Romijn from FEMME FATALE. I wasn't a huge fan of the movie itself, but that lesbian scene just made everything else worth it. I've actually considered buying the DVD just so I can replay it over, and over, and over...
Coming up with a final person was hard, since there are so many lovely ladies that make me pant like a dog when they come up on the screen. Sharon Stone from BASIC INSTINCT and Salma Hayek in FRIDA have to get an honorable mention.
But, my fifth and final lesbian in my dreams is Selma Blair. She played Cecile Caldwell in 1999's CRUEL INTENTIONS. Okay, okay, I know she didn't play either a lesbian or bisexual woman in the film, but she had that epic kiss with Sarah Michelle Gellar and that's a-okay with me! I don't care if it's only to help her get the guy (what's he got that I... oh... yea), I would do just about anything for a chance to make out with her in a park. Anything.
Alas, unfortunately, to the best of my knowledge all of these women are straight as arrows. So, if you'll excuse me, I think I need to fire up my DVD player and let my imagination run wild.
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| Acting Queer |
Every other Tuesday
Talking about movies from a queer girl's point of view, possibly with psychological, sociological and political undertones.
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| Aidan Abhorrent |
Aiden is a queer punk rocker feminist with a loud mouth and too much to say. Studying psychology and sociology makes her think she knows everything about everybody, which she very well might.
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| Contact |
If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Aidan Abhorrent by clicking here.
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