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This column is probably going to cause a lot of hate mail, but I'm ready for it. I just ask that you're kind and polite with your e-mails. Keep the cussing to a minimum. I'm a sensitive boy! That said, I just had to write this column. I can't tell you how many times I've heard people talk about these films and rave about them like they're the second coming of Christ. I just don't get it. In the words of Dr. Phil: "You just don't get it, do ya?" No, I don't get it. What's the big deal? Why is this film so great? I know everyone calls it a masterpiece, but what's the reasoning behind it? It just seems like one person calls it a great film and everyone agrees. It shouldn't be that way! We should have rhyme, reason, and theory. If not, it means nothing. It's all fluff and garbage. I want answers, by god! If I get answers, I'll be happy.
With this week's column, I'm going to examine five overrated "classics." If you can defend your film, I'd be happy to hear it. I always love to hear from passionate movie fans. I just want to get to the bottom of this. It really bugs me.
Duck Soup (1933) and A Night at the Opera (1935)
I remember seeing these films back-to-back in film class, so that's why I counted them as a singular film. Plus, they're both very short in length. Until the day I die, I'll never understand why the Marx Brothers are so popular. Call me stupid, but I don't get their sense of humor. All they do is bumble and stumble around for two hours, and THAT'S supposed to be funny? What's up with Groucho Marx? What's funny about him? A fake mustache is funny? I've always found his humor rather stiff and lifeless. I know that's the point, but it just doesn't work for me. I also don't think his one liners are very clever. Maybe I'm too young to appreciate them or something, but I didn't laugh once during Duck Soup or A Night at the Opera . The rest of the class was laughing like there's no tomorrow. There's also Harpo Marx, who was the lovable mute of the group. I never chuckled at his antics. I always thought he was way too pleased with himself. Chico is also a lazy stereotype with no creativity at all. To me, The Marx Brothers are on the same level as The Stooges. It's just the same thing in every film. They basically portray the same characters but with different names. It gets old very quickly.
Gladiator (2000)
I love Russell 
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Crowe and Ridley Scott, but I don't love this film. I remember being a freshman in High School, and EVERYONE was talking about this film. They were like: "Whoa, you gotta see it, man!" They also were quoting Russell Crowe's famous line in the movie. What drew people in? The battle scenes? Russell Crowe's performance? What?!? I've never been a fan of films with all action and no substance. I'd rather just play a video game for that. I don't need to see it on the big screen. I actually had a major headache after watching Gladiator. Everyone else was going crazy during the film! Because of Gladiator, I have no interest in seeing 300. I know I said to be an open minded moviegoer, but I can't take any more loud gladiators with their yelling. How in the blue hell did this film win an Oscar for Best Picture? Roger Ebert was 110 percent correct on this film. How did the Academy blow it? I don't always agree with their choices, but this is unreal! Is the film nice to look at? Sure. Is Crowe entertaining? Of course! He's the man. The rest of the film? SNOOZE FEST.
Citizen Kane (1941)
How is this the greatest film of all time? Yes, I admire the camera work, but the story doesn't interest me. I don't care about Rosebud. After I watched Citizen Kane, I felt empty. I didn't get into the story at all. It was a big film with big acting and big designs, but the personal story didn't speak to me. Maybe that's just me. The film is also so slow and so boring in terms of pacing. I actually almost fell asleep during the movie. Yes, I almost fell asleep during Citizen Kane. Don't send me any death threats. According to the film world, it's the greatest film of all time. I've never been told why! Everyone just goes: "Oh, it's amazing! Wow! A Masterpiece!" Yes, I get that! What is so great about the film? Look at The Godfather. That's an easy film to explain and support. First of all, what a great cast. Second of all, Brando was spellbinding, and Al Pacino was just coming into his own. Plus, it's a story about a deeply flawed but every entertaining film. The Godfather is a film that flies by in terms of time. It's a long movie, but it doesn't feel like it. Now, can anyone explain what's so great about Citizen Kane? I'm willing to listen and change my mind.
Forrest Gump (1994)
I've always thought that Tom Hanks is 
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probably one of the most overrated actors of all time. He's just been lucky to be around good directors and good screenplays. He's also been lucky enough to play characters that the Academy LOVES. Yup, you know the type. Characters that are sick, slow, depressed, or wounded in some way. The Academy loves flawed characters! They always win Oscars. Forrest Gump is a perfect example of that. Before I go any further, I should mention that I love the soundtrack of Forrest Gump. I love a good movie soundtrack. I'm just not a big fan of the actual movie. It's all just a little too cutesy and too convenient for me. I know we're supposed to believe in certain movies and forget about logic, but I thought Forrest Gump was so fake and so artificial. Not one second of the film felt real or authentic. Everything felt like a painted-on movie scene to me. I don't like being told when to cry and when to be happy. I want it to flow in a naturalistic way. I almost felt like the director was standing over the camera saying: "Okay, people are going to eat this scene up. They'll be crying like there's no tomorrow!" That's not the way movies should be. Movies should be surprising and unpredictable. They shouldn't feel like cheap soap operas.
Scarface (1983)
Once again, I love Al Pacino and I love Brian De Palma. I don't love this film! It's sad, because everyone talks about Al Pacino in Scarface. He's been in so many other movies. He's also been in BETTER movies. Hell, he's a lot better in Carlito's Way. Scarface is just a violent and ugly movie. What is America's obsession with senseless violence? It really worries me. I don't mind violence in the movies, but you need to have a solid story. De Palma's Scarface is just an excuse for Pacino to swear and blow things up. It looks like fun, but it gets old after a while. After you've heard Pacino say the F word 100 times, it starts to lose its appeal. Scarface is also very popular among gangsters. *sigh* Why not talk about Pacino's work in Dog Day Afternoon? What about Scent of a Woman? What about The Panic in Needle Park? Hell, how about Dick Tracy? Just please, please don't mention Pacino in Scarface all the time. It's just a trashy movie. If I hear one more person quote Scarface, I'm going to lose it! Please. Just stop it. You're not cool.
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Expect the unexpected from Tony as he'll give you his columns on the way movies used to be, the way movies are, and the way they should be.
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| Tony Farinella |
Tony is an Oak Lawn, IL based film reviewer and columnist looking to have fun and share his unique views on film with everyone. Tony also has an unhealthy obsession with Vanessa Lengies, but that is neither here nor there.
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