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So. This is my 35th column. Yesterday was my 21st birthday. I figure, why not change things up a bit in my life. So today I rented a bear costume and walked around Wal-Mart. I gave lots of children hugs. Strange that if I did that in my normal clothes I'd probably arrested. The things our animal friends can get away with! My friend also wore it and flipped out in the middle of my town, a boom box near him blasting "Party Hard" by Andrew W.K. He almost caused several traffic accidents.
BUT I DIGRESS. I sit here, typing out this column, not really sure of what I want to do with it. In general I mean. I actually thought of going on a "hiatus", a buzzword meaning "ran out of ideas". That's where I was headed too, either that or begin writing boring, meaningless drivel. And I'm in trouble if I get worse than how I am now.
So, perhaps a hiatus is not the right path. I mean, it might be if I actually took to time to think out new topics, improve my writing skills, or deal with the groundhog/possum turf war going on under my house. But I'd probably just 
Amazing actor. |
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laugh while listening to their battles and watching my floor sink into the ground.
So no, I'm not gonna stop. Why that's just not the way I do things, at least, it's not how I do things starting today. Today, I made a vow: to finish everything I start, be it a sandwich, a column, a plan for global annihilation or writing a letter of adoration to Paul Newman. Call it headstrong, call it stubborn, call it roast beef, but its how I feel! And damn it, that's what matters.
So what to do, how can I keep writing this here column if I feel that my topic (horror) I coming up empty? And I'm not saying it is, far from it, but I feel as if right now I can't give what I'd like to in terms of quality. Well, basically, I should change topics. Put horror on the shelf right now. Take it down now and again when I feel I have something worthy of taking out of it. But why not take some other things down from this shelf as well? Like those yams Grandma bought me, and that dead rat.
So what am I going to write about? I'm not sure. I just know that focusing on just Horror 
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and Sci-Fi is going to end up badly. I might get kicked out of Matchflick because of this! You wouldn't believe the way they got us here, all chained up, whipped when we use a semicolon. And when your day comes to turn in your column, hell would be paradise. I KID, I KID. Matchflick has been a fantastic outlet for me, and very cool place in general. And I want to give my best stuff back to it. So a change is what I think is needed.
So this column is pretty boring, it being just me talking about myself. But I wanted to give my (2) readers a heads up on what should be coming. Actually, if you (3, thanks Mom!) readers would like me to write about something, or have anything to say to me at all, please, PLEASE, PLEASE, send me an email/comment. I'm more than happy to appease my (2, you're mean Ma) fans.
That's it I guess. Um. Yeah. Check out the column in two weeks where I'll be writing about something of substance. Till then, stay fresh.
Oh, PS, Michael Bay shouldn't be able to use the same formula every movie and get to make millions of dollars.
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| The Lair of the Mad |
Every other Tuesday
'The Lair' discusses the many aspects and qualities of the horror genre. From actors, to make-up, to music, James Shafie explores everything the "cult" genre spews up.
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| James Shafie |
James Shafie is an avid watcher of movies of all sorts, but the horror genre is closest to his heart. He loves to read and is addicted to music, mostly metal and it’s thousands of sub-genres. He was once fired by Blockbuster, which we see as a strong character trait.
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If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to James Shafie by clicking here.
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