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The Winners are in ...
by Tony Farinella

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This is what I did after viewing NACHO LIBRE.

This is what I did after viewing NACHO LIBRE.
I hope everyone here had a tremendous and joyous Thanksgiving with their family and loved ones. I ended up getting sick on Thanksgiving and went to bed at 8pm because my Grandma is getting old and she didn't cook the turkey well enough. Luckily I have survived and I am here to give you the results of the Tony F. Thanksgiving Turkey Movie Awards. I would like to thank all of you who got in touch with me either via e-mail, myspace, or online to give me your vote. Thanks a million.

Now onto the results ...

Worst Movie of 2006

Results: The winner with 75 percent of the votes was NACHO LIBRE. MIAMI VICE came in second with 15 percent of the votes. Other votes included THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING and ULTRAVIOLET.

Thoughts: This one shocked me as I thought Jack Black had endeared himself to a lot of people and it would be hard for people to vote against him in this category. But the utter crappyness of NACHO LIBRE was hard to deny as the film got far and away the most votes by everyone. MIAMI VICE did not do as bad as I thought it would, but it got second place among voters. No votes for JUST MY LUCK, FAILURE TO LAUNCH, or CLICK surprisingly. ULTRAVIOLET got a few votes and TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING received some votes as well from even hardcore horror fans.


Worst Male Performance of 2006

Results: 50 percent of the votes went to Brandon Routh in SUPERMAN RETURNS. 25 percent of the votes went to Jon Heder in BENCHWARMERS and random votes here and there for David Morrissey in BASIC INSTINCT 2. John Cena also received one vote for THE MARINE. No votes for Jack Black and that is very odd as he was in the worst film of the year as voted by everyone. I think it says that people like Jack Black, but hated the movie. No votes for Ferrell or Buffet.

Thoughts: Heder was a close second to Brandon Routh, but you can't deny the wooden and stale performance that Routh gave. Not a single vote for Black, Ferrell, or Buffet is surprising, but all of them are fairly likable and hard to vote against for a lot of people. John Cena, the WWE pro wrestler, received one vote for his performance in THE MARINE. A MatchFlick user named Jen said this about Routh's performance: "It was like watching a folding chair act." Well said.

Winner: Brandon Routh in SUPERMAN RETURNS

Worst Female Performance of 2006

Results: 65 percent of the votes went to Scarlett Johansson in THE BLACK DAHLIA while 30 percent of the votes went to Lindsay Lohan in JUST MY LUCK. 5 percent of the votes also went to Molly Sims in THE BENCHWARMERS. No votes for Parker or Gong were received.

Thoughts: For being such a pretty face, Johansson sure did not endure herself to many people with this performance and she beat out another
Congrats to Nacho on his 2 wins!

Congrats to Nacho on his 2 wins!
pretty face in Lohan. Simms got 5 percent while Parker and Gong did not get a single vote. Parker is still pretty popular from her days on SEX AND THE CITY, so I imagine that made it hard to vote against her. Gong meant well, so I imagine it was hard to vote against her as well.

Winner: Scarlett Johansson in THE BLACK DAHLIA

Worst Horror Movie of 2006 (Must be Rated R)

Results: 55 percent of the votes went to TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING and I'd be hard pressed to disagree. 15 percent went to SAW 3 and 15 percent went to FINAL DESTINATION 3. 10 percent for THE HILLS HAVE EYES and 5 percent for SILENT HILL.

Thoughts: We all got tortured when we had to endure another bad torture fest by Leatherface and this time we didn't even get to see Biel in her tight jeans and white see-through top. No reward, no fun, and nothing to enjoy with this film. FINAL DESTINATION 3 and SAW 3 were considered unnecessary sequels by many while THE HILLS HAVE EYES was an unnecessary remake some people voted. SILENT HILL should have stayed a video game said 5 percent of the votes.


Worst Scream Queen of 2006

Results: Camilla Belle in WHEN A STRANGER CALLS won with a whopping 80 percent of the votes. I'm a big Camilla Belle fan and actually was one of the few people who enjoyed this movie, but I appear to be alone in my love for Belle and this movie. Shawnee Smith received 10 percent of the votes and Jordana Brewster received 10 percent as well. No votes for Tamblyn or Winstead.

Thoughts: PG-13 horror movies are not winning any fans and this proved it with the large number of votes against Camilla Belle. I would have voted between Brewster and Smith as they both were trying way too hard and they did have not enough sex appeal for a horror movie. At least we got to see Belle in an orange tank top and short skirt running around. A reader named Royce Clemens said "Sorry" when he voted for Belle, so at least he was kind about it.

Winner: Camilla Belle in WHEN A STRANGER CALLS

Worst Big Budget Movie of 2006

Results: This was the closet category out of all of them with THE DA VINCI CODE just beating out MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3. POSEIDON and MIAMI VICE also received scattered votes while X-MEN 3 received 2 votes. Lastly, SUPERMAN RETURNS received just 1 vote.

Thoughts: Molly Celaschi from horroryearbook.com had this to say about THE DA VINCI CODE while voting in this category:" Everyone went nuts with this one. Either people were radical Christian trying to ban it or radical readers defending the book. I could have cared either way and apparently everyone else felt the same." She summed it up best and I couldn't agree more.


Worst Remake of
Poor Camilla Belle!

Poor Camilla Belle!

Results: More hate for WHEN A STRANGER CALLS as this one received 65 percent of the votes. THE POSEIDON and THE SHAGGY DOG received the rest of the votes while THE OMEN and HILLS HAVE EYES received no votes.

Thoughts: Again, I liked the movie and I must have been on drugs when viewing it as the film won two awards. More thoughts from Matchflick users: "So misguided. The original had the right idea. Why stretch out that opening sequence? And why do the kids live? Lame"


Worst Teen Movie of 2006 (PG-13 rating and aimed at teens)

Results: NACHO LIBRE wins this one with 55 percent of the votes with JUST MY LUCK on its tail with 30 percent of the votes. 15 percent of the votes went to SCARY MOVIE 4 while JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE and PULSE got off easy.

Thoughts: NACHO LIBRE is tied with WHEN A STRANGER CALLS for 2 awards this year. I would have voted JUST MY LUCK in this case as it was not only awful, but sent out a horrible message to young girls in the process. SCARY MOVIE 4 was no picnic to sit through and it has more than wore out its welcome with its lame humor. PULSE had Veronica Mars in it, so it's cool in my book as I have a crush on her. JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE received no votes, which was a shocker.


Worst Indy Movie of 2006

Results: RUNNING WITH SCISSORS won with 90 percent of the votes while LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE and EDMOND received the reminder of the votes.

Thoughts: People are just tired of that style of Indy film where everyone is depressed, maniac, and on a lot of pills and this proved it with RUNNING WITH SCISSORS running away literally with a good chunk of the votes. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE received a few surprise votes as not everyone was in love with this movie. EDMOND with an all-star cast received some negative and angry remarks such as this from Jen: "It's not on your list, but it's dreadful. I wanted to find David Mamet, beat him up, and make him give me my ten dollars back."


Most Disappointing Movie of 2006

Results: THE BLACK DAHLIA gets the win over MIAMI VICE and THE DA VINCI CODE in a close race. What do all three films have in common with each other? All directed by greats such as Michael Mann, Ron Howard, and Brian De Palma. Other films that received votes were SUPERMAN RETURNS and TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING.

Thoughts: Another reader said "How you can make a movie about a beautiful woman getting cut up boring is beyond me. Josh Harnett, Hilary Swank, and Scarlett Johansson were miscast in their roles. Brian De Palma dropped the ball on this one." AMEN. THE BLACK DAHLIA joins NACHO LIBRE and WHEN A STRANGER CALLS with 2 awards.


Thanks again to everyone that voted!

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Expect the unexpected from Tony as he'll give you his columns on the way movies used to be, the way movies are, and the way they should be.

Other Columns
Other columns by Tony Farinella:

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The 2007 Thanksgiving Turkey Movie Awards

Danielle Harris of Halloween 4 and 5 Interview

The Four Seasons of SAW

I love 2004

All Columns

Tony Farinella
Tony is an Oak Lawn, IL based film reviewer and columnist looking to have fun and share his unique views on film with everyone. Tony also has an unhealthy obsession with Vanessa Lengies, but that is neither here nor there.

If you have a comment, question, or suggestion, you can send a message to Tony Farinella by clicking here.

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