Many remakes are released into theatres every year. Fortunately, now, we have the technology to view those films in the privacy of our own home, dwelling, abode, family prefecture, or hut (not valid in ditches, spiritual realms, or LSD-induced "flying ships"). Such technology is known as the DVD, or Digital Video...uh...Dingy. This system is far superior to the old method of lining up a row of jesters and ordering them to perform scenes from your favorite movies. Trust me, those guys did not like doing the Normandy battle scene from THE LONGEST DAY. Bell-tipped shoes everywhere. Anyway, today I figured I'd give you the latest in remakes on DVD.
As of yesterday (10/11), you can buy 50 FIRST DATES and MR. DEEDS as a 2-pack. MR. DEEDS, of course, being the remake of MR. DEEDS GOES TO TOWN (1936) with Gary Cooper. If you are thinking about purchasing the 2-pack, please let me know and I will tell you about a person (*cough* me *cough*) to whom you can send your 20-some-odd dollars to have it spent on something worthwhile. Do, however, pick up the Gary Cooper version. For any of you who liked MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON, you should note that was originally going to be a sequel to MR. DEEDS GOES TO TOWN, but Gary Cooper was unavailable for the lead role. A week from yesterday, you can purchase the new 2-disc set of BATMAN, a semi-remake of the '60s Adam West version. The rule is this: if you're overly depressed, watch the '60s film, it'll cheer you up, if you're overly joyous, pick up the '80s version, it'll get you into a slump all the Valium in the world couldn't pull you out of. Damn good movie, though. Jack Nicholson's Joker still can't be topped (sorry Caesar Romero...). Also that week you will notice the new THE JAZZ SINGER with Neil Diamond. For all those who haven't had their heart attack yet, the film stars Neil Diamond. Notice it on the shelf, then pray to something holy that the Al Jolson '27 version gets released. Did I mention Neil Diamond was in the remake? If that doesn't do it for you, Lawrence Olivier was also in the remake. And he was terrible. I'm starting to go numb in my left arm myself. October 25th bears the release of BEWITCHED (the 2005 movie) on DVD. Buy the complete first season of the show instead. All the laughs, none of the Will Ferrell. One week later the 1st season of WAR OF THE WORLDS comes out on disc along with the original Gene Barry film. The little-known TV series serves as a sequel to the original movie and features the aliens making a return after years of hibernation. It wasn't great, folks. The Tom Cruise butchering of the film streets on the 22nd of November. You can't beat the original here, and from what it looks like, the DVD of that version is going to kick some serious alien ass. That's worth its cover price, but nothing else is. Finally note that on the 22nd as well KING KONG, the original Fay Wray version along with all its glorious sequels is released in a mega set as well as individually. KING KONG is one of the few films on the AFI's "Top 100 Films of All Time" list that hasn't been release on DVD. The others are THE AFRICAN QUEEN and THE JAZZ SINGER (not Diamond's rough, the real version).
Well that's what's new in DVD film remake releases. As for me, I need to get to Best Buy and pick up one of those players. My jesters can't get anything right these days. No, Harlequino! It's not, "I could have been a good blender!" It's, "I could have been a contender!" Marlon Brando is not a kitchen appliance! Geez.
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Every other Wednesday
For anyone who's ever been told "You should have seen the original," this column provides insight into any film that’s been remade, rehashed, or re-envisioned.
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| Jonathan Alexandratos |
Jonathan is a college student in New York. He is already an accomplished writer, having completed 3 full-length plays and numerous poems. He is also working on his first book.
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